Broken Minds and Lives
by Lady Monozuki
Summary: Seventeen years ago, Roy Mustang suffered at the hand of an assailant. The case reamins unsolved. Now a similar attack befalls one of his co-workers. Will he be able to catch the one responsible? Warnings: small rape and torture scenes.
1. Chapter One: Hidden Secrets

**Broken Minds and Lives**

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist in any form or shape.

Written by: Lady Monozuki

Description: Seventeen years ago, Roy Mustang suffered at the hand of an assailant. The identity of his attacker from his twelve year old days remains a mystery. Now another attack, similar to the fashion of his, befalls one of coworkers. How will he handle the case? Will he be able to catch the one responsible for the torment? And is there more going on here? Warnings: Torture, angst, and implied rape.

Lady Monozuki: Hello everyone, here's my first FMA fic. Enjoy!

_Chapter One: Hidden Secrets_

His head throbbed. The scars on his wrists and ankles burned. No one could see them underneath the many layers he wore. However, that didn't make them disappear. In fact, no one knew how he obtained the white lines on his body. Everyone assumed that he gained physical proof of his time served in Ishbal. And he did nothing to squelch the rumors. He didn't like keeping too many secrets from his subordinates, but this one he held no intention of telling any time soon. He knew that this proved to be selfish on his part. He didn't care though.

No one mentioned the scars on his body, part of the reasoning behind that came from the poor cadet who asked about them six years ago. The scorch marks still graced the cafeteria walls, the higher-ups decided not to cover the wrath, and shame of the Flame Alchemist. Not that he killed anyone, no that'd result in his discharge from the military. The truth of the incident is still shrouded by mystery.

The other part came from the fact that his First Lieutenant, Riza Hawkeye, threatened any soul who dared to question the lines with a gun. Between the two of them, no one else thought to bring them up. He supposed that's how the Ishbal rumors started. On a good day, he played along. On a bad day, everyone read the invisible "If you mention anything to me about my deformity, I will send you on your way to Hell" sign on his forehead. Everyone that is, except a small blonde haired alchemist.

A smile tugged at his lips. The vertically challenged alchemist chose to be daft at the most inopportune moments. However, that didn't justify his actions. No, for once Roy Mustang stepped outside of bounds. And hurt one of the brightest and talented members of his hand-selected team, one that couldn't be repaired with a simple apology. He shuddered to think what Edward Elric would to do him when he tried to make amends. The thought made him regret the harsh words spoken earlier all the more.

Of course, he and Edward took part in several fights before. This time though, he damaged an important relationship. Whether the short alchemist realized his station or not, he held the most influence in the military, in essence, he could say one word and most of the personal would bend over backwards to make his orders come true. That fact alone showed how powerful one person could be. Even at his age and stature, Roy couldn't command such power. The Furher even took interest in the young man and tended to grant his every whim. A knock on his door brought him out of his musings.

The door swung open, indicating that someone who didn't care for his empty threats entered. He guessed Riza Hawkeye. She often barged in without waiting for him to mutter "Come in." Silence hung in the cold air. He didn't bother turning around.

"Sir, if you're not going to do your paperwork, then I suggest that you go home," he heard.

He winced at the gentleness in her voice. He deserved to be yelled at, hurt in some form or fashion. After what he did, he couldn't forgive himself. He didn't say anything in response to her suggestion. Going home meant more brooding on what he did to the FullMetal Alchemist.

"Permission to speak freely, sir," he heard.

He contemplated ignoring her request, pretending that he didn't hear her. However, that would be childish. He sighed.

"Permission granted," he mumbled.

"Roy, go after him."

"What?"

"Go after Edward. The longer you wait, the more he's going to mull over your words and the harder it's going to be to apologize to him. I know you're afraid but everything will get worse if you don't try to amend your friendship."

He turned around and blinked. "You heard our conversation?"

"Sir, I don't think anyone on this floor could try and block out the yelling even if they tried."

He grimaced. "Oh god, that doesn't bode well for my reputation."

"You can't blame him for being curious. You seem to know everything about him but he knows nothing about you. He wanted to try and know _something_. I know that this is hard to believe but Edward Elric respects you and looks up to you. Now, go out there and look for him before you both regret this for the rest of your life."

He chuckled. "Are you threatening me, Hawkeye?"

She drew her gun faster than he finished his sentence. The barrel aimed for his head. She already clicked the safety off. The dark look in her eyes reminded him of their days in Ishbal, cold, calculating, and uncaring. He knew those eyes, the path of a killer.

"I get the message," he muttered.

"Please be careful," she whispered.

He nodded and grabbed his coat. "I will," he whispered. He headed for the door before pausing. "Thank you, Riza."

She smiled. "You're welcome, Roy."

Without another word, he ran past several of his subordinates, those who didn't know him well thought of him as rude. However, the rest knew his intentions and got out of his way, in fear of becoming the next public marshmallow. Rain drummed against the ground. He looked to his right and left, trying to determine which way Edward went. The alchemist tended to spend a lot of time at home when upset. However in more drastic cases, he went to the military library. Roy decided to try there first. The walk didn't take long, but he got soaked on the way there.

He walked through the front door and found one of the librarians. He flashed one of his trademark smiles and asked if Edward came in here. She nodded.

"He's near the Alchemist section, but he requested to be left alone."

Roy nodded but continued anyway. He didn't care whether Edward wanted privacy. This needed to be mended for both of their sakes. Getting his head blown off by Riza didn't appeal to him at the time and he felt confident that the young alchemist would feel the same way if she pointed her gun at his head as well. Arriving in the Alchemist section didn't take long. A table with at least fifty thick bound books rested on a table. A blonde haired person sat there, reading another, engrossed at the contents of the book.

The older alchemist wanted to turn around and leave, but knew better. He walked up to the table and noticed the disgruntled look on Edward's face. A shiver ran down his spine at the sight.

_Since when did I become so afraid of a short alchemist?_

The thought dissipated sooner than formed. He didn't need to ask stupid questions at the time. He hovered over the slumped figure and cleared his throat. The shorter alchemist glanced away from his book and grunted.

"What the hell do you want?" Edward spat.

"Can we sit down and talk about what happened?" Roy asked.

The other alchemist wrinkled his nose before nodded and closing his book. Roy sat in the empty chair next to Edward. He tried to think of how to word his next sentences. Provoking the blonde wouldn't solve anything.

"Start talking, _Colonel_," Edward growled, placing emphasis on the last word.

Roy winced at the harsh tone. He deserved the treatment, he realized this. However, that didn't make the situation any better. With a sigh, he decided to say the first words that came into mind.

"Edward, I'm sorry for my behavior."

"There better be more," Ed growled.

The shorter alchemist eyes him, waiting for him to continue.

"There is no excuse for what I did or said. I'm sorry."

Ed waved a lazy hand. "You're not good at apologizing," the blond teen remarked.

Roy sighed. "I know that you're frustrated with me because I keep you in the dark about a lot of things. Both work and personal affairs," he continued. "You need to understand that there are some things that I am not willing to talk about. However, I suppose that you are entitled to more information. I tried to hold you back because I still saw you as a kid. However, you turned sixteen ages ago and are a legal adult. As such, I expect you to attend the weekly meetings between me and my more trusted crew every Monday at six in the morning."

Edward looked livid. However, Roy continued on. "I will also provide you with more information in regards to certain affairs. I also would offer you a position at the office but you're still trying to find out a way to get your brother's body back. I can—."

"Mustang," Edward said, the anger in his voice softer.

"Yes?" Roy asked. He expected to get smacked on the head.

"Thanks," he muttered, not making eye contact. "I could use a desk job right now. Al and I aren't getting anywhere on our research and he decided to spend some time in Risembool. I don't know when he'll be back, but I need something to distract me for the time being."

He swallowed. "You can start tomorrow, report to my office at eight."

"Why the hell do you get up so early?" Edward complained.

"Some of us work, unlike others."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ed snapped.

"Nothing," Roy replied. "Now, is there anything you want to ask me now?"

"No," Edward muttered.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning then."

He stood and straightened his clothes. With a sigh, he pulled on his soaked jacket. The cloth intended to defy his every will. Edward watched his every move. After five minutes, success graced him.

"Mustang," Edward asked as the Colonel looked away.

"Yes, Edward?"

"Can I ask a question?"

"Of course."

"Where did those scars on your wrist come from? I know you tried to kill yourself after the war but I don't think those came from self inflicted wounds. Did something happen to you?"

He flinched and contemplated flying into a rage. "That is something I prefer not to talk about."

"I understand," Edward said.

Roy wanted to tease him about not pressing for more details. However, that would bring more problems than he wanted. With a sigh, he walked away. He walked out of the library and back into the rain. He sighed turned left and tried to think about what to do for the rest of the evening. Drowning himself in scotch and booze sounded like a good idea at the time. However, he didn't want the hangover that followed. He needed to go to work in the morning and wanted to be able to concentrate. But coming close to the scars that he left untouched for so many years exhausted him. His head started to throb again.

"Are you going somewhere, sir?" a familiar voice asked.

He spun around to see Hawkeye in military garb. She held a bag of groceries in her hand from the corner drug store not too far away.

"Riza," he muttered.

"Did you patch things up with Edward?"

"Yes."

"Good, how are you feeling?"

"Better, I suppose," Roy said.

She nodded. "Are you thinking about the past, sir?"

He blinked. "Do you know?"

"Yes sir, you told me one drunken night at the bar. Do you remember?"

He racked his brain. Of course he didn't remember. If he wanted to forget something, drinking solved his problem. He shook his head in resignation.

"I didn't expect you to. Anyway, scars like that don't heal overnight. If you need me, I'm always available."

She started to walk away. He reached out and grabbed her arm. She didn't resist or try to pull away.

"Riza, can I come over to your house for a while?"

"Of course. I need to head over soon, Black Hayate will be wanting his food."

_Oh right, she took in that stray._

The two of them walked deeper into the rain. Roy tried to think about what to talk about. Should he mention what Edward asked? Did she know already? He sighed.


	2. Chapter Two: Argument

Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist in any shape for form.

Lady Monozuki: A big thank you to Taranova and Wateria88 for reviewing! :D This chapter is for you!

On a side note: The story picks up a little in the next chapter. I considered deleteting this chapter entirely but it gave some background information. Also, this is based mostly off the anime. The timeframe is somewhere after episode 26 or so. Hope that clarifies things a little in the future.

Chapter Two: Argument

He slammed the door shut to an empty apartment. The memories of the events earlier stung more in his loneliness. Tears wanted to fall but couldn't, or perhaps he suppressed him. He put the latest collection of books from the library on the empty coffee table.

He shrugged off his red coat and untied his boots. Auto mail met the floor, followed by flesh. His mind spun. Everything seemed fuzzy. He lifted his regular hand to his forehead, warmth spread underneath his fingers. However, he noted more heat than usual. He decided to take his temperature before eating. As much as he hated admitting any illnesses, he liked to know when he was sick.

_Damn, I can't be sick now. I'm supposed to work tomorrow. If Mustang finds out that I'm not well, he'll never leave me alone. Worse still, he'll try and take me to the hospital._

He cringed at the thought of white halls and sick patients. Edward swore that every time he walked in one of the places he contracted a worse disease than when he started. Of course, he never got to prove that theory, nor did he want to. He walked into the small kitchen and pulled out instant soup, not the best thing for him, but all he could make without Al.

He found the thermometer and took his temperature, 101.3. He glanced at the phone. He wanted to give a call to his brother but he couldn't, not now. Al departed on bad terms and no doubt let the feelings simmer. His own follies brought on both his brother's and Roy's anger. He glanced down at the boiling soup.

Realizing that he washed no dishes, he resigned and drank out of the pan. Not bothering to go into his bedroom, Edward sat on the couch. For a couple of minutes, he eyed the alchemy book with distaste, even though the book didn't do anything to him. Deciding not to read, he closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep.

_He threw down another book with a resigned sigh. The empty clanging of metal drew closer. His head throb, trying to grasp the concepts. None of what he read helped him with the research. Long ago they gave up on the Stone, because of the sacrifice involved. Another route needed to be created. However, no path came into view. _

_Since their decision to seek another possibility, wasted time became a regular part of their lives. Since then, Edward discovered three cures for common ailments, a forgotten array for reconstruction, and a good way to create headaches._

_The phone call came at an unexpected time. The phone rang. He reached for the device with an unconscious movement. His mind tried to figure out the latest concepts and ideas._

"_Hello, Elric residence," he said in a distant voice._

"_Edward, is that you?" asked a familiar voice._

_He blinked and soon terror filled him. "T-teacher?"_

"_Yes Edward, now I heard that you stopped searching for the Philosopher's Stone, is this true?"_

Oh right, the information in that array is used for healing alchemy, and I bet Alphonse told teacher about our plans. He likes to keep in contact.

"_That's right," he answered._

"_I think I know of another way to give his body back," she continued._

_His eyes widened and pulse quickened. "Continue," he said, trying to keep excitement out of his voice._

"_The other way to get his body back includes human sacrifice as well."_

"_Teacher, we're not going to—."_

"_Shut up and listen. I'll give Alphonse my body. Sig and I both know that I won't live much longer, I'm sure that you know so as well. We already looked into the arrays needed. If I exchange my life for his, equivalent exchange takes place and you get your brother back."_

"_But Teacher, we can't do that."_

"_Edward, I made up my mind. I'm at peace with this. Now, you don't need to make the choice now but my days are numbered. If you do make this decision, you can't let Al know. Tell him you both are going to see me. If I'm right, he'll wake up with no memories of this incident."_

_Silence came about as he tried to form his next thought. The idea sounded appealing. However, if Alphonse found out he would hate him._

"_We'll see," Edward replied._

"_You're considering my offer?" Izumi asked, shocked._

"_Yes, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go through with your suggestion."_

"_Don't worry, I know you feel guilty enough for getting Al in the situation. I'll perform the ritual myself so that you don't regret anything else."_

"_No, I promised him that I'll get his body back. Now excuse me, I need to get myself in bed."_

"_Since when did you become a proper gentlemen?" she taunted._

"_Teacher," Edward whispered. "Don't be surprised if I refuse."_

"_With you two I'm not surprised by much anymore."_

"_Good night, Teacher."_

"_Good night, Ed."_

_He hung up the phone with a heavy sigh. Of course taking his teacher's life seemed like the most sensible thing to do. However, she raised them after their mother died. That alone held a heavy spot in his heart. Making this choice wouldn't be easy. He learned that through several different lessons though. Alchemy is one of the greatest sciences ever, but also the most costly. He paid the price, as did his little brother. Now he wanted a way to reverse their sins. _

_They learned not to dabble in the areas of God and planned on keeping their record clean for now. However, his punishment for trying to bring back his mother continued even to this day._

_Every time they thought they found a new way something else got in their path. The cycle seemed endless and insistent that they pay for their foolish mistake six years ago. His door opened, Alphonse stood in the doorway, yet another painful reminder of their attempt. _

"_What's the matter, Al?" Edward asked, his thoughts drifted back to the phone call._

"_I wanted to see if you went to bed."_

"_Of course not, I'm still doing some research. Teacher called by the way," he said._

"_Oh, what did she want?"_

"_She wants us to visit her."_

"_Maybe we should. I would be happy to see her again. I mean, her condition isn't getting better and she's like a mother to us."_

"_I agree. We'll make some plans in the future."_

"_Edward," Alphonse whispered._

"_Yeah?"_

"_Are you seriously considering taking her up on the offer?"_

_Edward blinked and then went in fury. "You heard?" he snapped._

"_Of course I did! I picked up the phone half a second before you in my room."_

"_Look, I don't know if I will."_

"_I won't accept her body. You can't force me either."_

"_Al, you're being stupid."_

"_No I'm not! You're the one who is considering using out teacher as a human sacrifice for my sake! I won't accept her body! Why don't you understand, brother?"_

"_You don't understand, Al. You think that you know alchemy but you don't! I figured that all we went through was proof enough of that. Plus, I'm the one reading every book on the planet written about the laws of alchemy as well as theories themselves, there is nothing out there to by-pass equivalent exchange!" Edward shouted. _

"_Brother, we agreed not to use the Philosopher's Stone because it required numerous human sacrifices. Accepting Teacher's offer is doing the same thing, except a smaller price. I won't stand for that!"_

_Edward picked up the nearest book and threw that against the wall. His fury woke up and wanted to hit someone. However, Al didn't feel pain and wouldn't be satisfying. He gave a snarl at his younger brother and stormed past him. A walk seemed like a better way of cooling himself down. _

_Somehow, he found his way to the military base in Central. He seldom graced the halls with his presence without a reason. But today, he felt like going there. The doors seemed to open by themselves as he walked up to a familiar office. Everyone eyed him, reading the "I'm pissed so don't even think about asking me stupid questions" look that he wore almost every day._

_He burst through the door to Roy Mustang's office. He didn't know why he came here of all places. Perhaps that came about because the man listened to his problems, or maybe because he considered this place to be a safe haven._

_Whatever the reasoning, he needed to hear a comforting word or two. However, he didn't expect to see a strange sight. Scars wrapped around the wrists of the Colonel sleeping at the desk, no doubt from reading another report. They looked deep but not fresh. Edward placed their age to over ten years. _

_Never before did he know Roy carried memoirs from his past life. Curiosity settled in. He wanted to know where the Colonel got them. However, that question didn't seem like a choice. The phone rang, making the man jump in his sleep. Edward's mouth twitched, forming a smile. Another ring sounded through the air. The teen grabbed the phone._

"_Hello, Colonel Mustang's office," he answered as he heard Hawkeye do several times before._

"_Brother!" a surprised voice shrieked._

"_Alphonse? What the hell are you calling the Colonel for?" Edward questioned_

"_Why are you in his office, answering his phone?" Al countered._

_Ed winced at the harsh tone his younger brother used. "Yeah, yeah, go ahead and tell me what you want to say."_

"_I'm going to Risembool. I don't know when I'll be back. But I want to spend some time with Granny and Winry. So don't think of coming after me, because I don't want to see your face right now."_

"_Al—!"_

"_No, there's no way I'm going to reconsider! If you want, you can tell Roy but I won't be back for a while."_

_The phone clicked, leaving Ed confused. His anger burned even more. Hatred, spite, and fury started to boil over. He slammed the handle down and took a seat in the chair next to the desk. Roy's eyes fluttered and started to come into focus._

"_FullMetal? What are you doing here? I didn't call you into my office."_

"_Is there a policy written that says you can't visit your superior officer in the middle of the day?" Edward spat._

"_Watch your tone."_

"_Don't tell me what to do."_

"_Fine, since you're here I'll give you an assignment."_

"_What's the point?" Ed blurted, not thinking of his words._

"_I want you to go investigate the complaints coming from Laboratory Seven," Mustang continued like Ed didn't say anything._

"_What are they complaining about?"_

"_That's classified."_

_The teen wheezed. Roy looked at him with a curious eye, but said nothing about the noise._

"_Why give me a mission and no information about what's going on?" Edward complained._

"_Because the work needs to get done, now out of my office."_

"_That's a nice choice of words coming from the man who was sleeping naught two minutes ago," Ed snapped, his voice dripping with sarcasm and disdain._

"_Yes, but I do more work than you do. Now, get on the case."_

"_Not until I get information."_

"_I told you, that's classified."_

"_Like hell," Ed shouted. "You treat me like a kid but I'm not one anymore. Wake up Mustang, I am positive that you are hiding something and don't want me to find out. I'm not going to take that crap anymore. You either tell me what the hell is going on or do the mission yourself!"_

"_FullMetal," Roy snapped, his own irritation settling in. "You either do the mission or get yourself out of the military. We don't need useless children, who complain about every assignment, like you in here!"_

_Ed looked like he received a slap on the face. Mustang _never_ talked to him like that. Hurt took over his emotions and he lowered his voice to a soft whisper._

"_Then why the hell did you keep our secret?"_

_With that, he ran off. Rain started to pour harder._


	3. Chapter Three: Captured

Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist in any shape or form

Lady Monozuki: Thank you Wateria88, Taranova, and Shadena for reviewing! It means a lot to me to get feedback and encouragement. :) Thank you once again!

Chapter Three: Captured

A crash woke him from his slumber. The noise didn't register in his mind at first. But then, a list of names popped into his mind. Several people wanted him dead or captured alive. He didn't want to be caught, not now. He stood and moved into a more defensive position. No other noise came from the room. The minutes started to slip away. He thought for a moment that the intruder got scared and left. But he doubted that they did anything of the sort. Whoever broke in knew he was there. Not many people knew his current location, or take the time to climb the three flights of stairs to get to his run-down "home".

Another noise placed him back on high alert. His mind tried to process three thoughts at once. One, get the hell out of there, two, stand and fight, and three, use alchemy to seal them inside while he called Mustang. But his groggy and feverish state prevented his body from reacting. A hand covered his mouth while another snaked around his waist. His brain went into panic mode. He flailed about, trying to make the person loosen their grip but to no effect.

He became desperate and kicked his assailant with his auto mail leg. The grip slackened enough for the agile alchemist to slip away. However, he didn't look too far ahead and felt his flesh leg stumbled against the coffee table. With a curse, he stood and continued to move on. Footsteps fell in right behind him. Panic and fear gripped his thoughts. Getting out of the house became his top priority. Strong hands grabbed him again.

"Hold him still," the person behind him hissed.

That's when he realized that two people entered his house. He struggled even more but the other person didn't relinquish or slacken their hold. He tried to kick but felt his head slam into the ground before he could make contact. With a grunt, he lifted his throbbing skull.

"So this is the kid the boss wanted? Shit, he doesn't look more than ten."

Ed tried to punch the person who said that but couldn't. Two hands turned into four and he felt his strength leaving him.

"Who cares what he looks like? The boss wants this job now. If we don't, we both lose our jobs."

"Yeah, yeah, knock the runt out so we can carry him out."

He tried to scream as his last act of desperation, but a blow to the neck made him lose consciousness.

--

Roy tapped his fingers in irritation. He knew that Edward didn't comprehend time very well but being an hour and a half late was no excuse. While drumming, he thought of various ways to torture the short alchemist upon arrival. Snapping his fingers wouldn't faze him, but perhaps a bolt of fire in his general direction might do the trick. Someone opened his door. With anticipation, he pulled out an ignition glove. However, the person who came in turned out to be Hawkeye. He glowered and pretended to be looking through a paper.

"Sir, Edward will come in soon," she said. "There's also no reason to burn him to a crisp."

He wanted to ask how she knew that much. However, that seemed like the dumbest thing to ask at the moment. He grunted in frustration. In the back of his mind, he thought that Ed looked pale yesterday. Then his brain made an obvious connection.

"He's sick," Roy muttered.

"Did you say something, sir?" Riza asked in a gentle tone.

"He didn't look well yesterday. I remember him wheezing a little bit when he came into my office."

"Perhaps the stress of his brother being gone," she commented.

He shrugged, indicating that he didn't believe her words. Before he could open his mouth she spoke.

"I'll go check on him. I need to buy some more coffee for our stash anyway."

"How do you manage to read my every thought?" he mused.

"From experience and the fact that you're like an open book," she replied in a soft tone.

With that, she left him to do his paperwork. He knew she would call him and update him on Ed's condition. With that peace of mind, Roy continued to do his regular work. Several more interruptions came to follow, however. Each of his crew reported their findings in detailed reports. When Kain Fuery walked through the door, he knew that he needed to pay attention. Not because the subject matter turned out interesting, but because half of what the man said didn't make sense. Halfway through the Master Sergeant's report, the phone rang. Happy for the distraction, he answered, waving for the shorter man to be quiet.

"Hello, Roy Mustang's office," he said.

"Sir, this is Hawkeye," he heard.

He wanted to tell her that she didn't need to introduce herself to him on the phone, but didn't. The urgency in her voice told him that. He didn't want to ask the next question, feeling dread and guilt wash over him. However, he couldn't suppress the curiosity of his mind.

"What did you find?"

She swallowed over the phone. He waited for her response. In the background he could hear voices. Muffled instructions met his ears and then a sigh.

"What's going on, Hawkeye?" he asked in a more serious tone.

"Sir, Edward Elric is missing."

He almost dropped the phone in surprise. "Is there physical proof of this?"

"There are signs of a struggle. Plus Edward's favorite jacket is still there. Also, I believe his research notes, but I can't decipher them."

Roy Mustang groaned.

"They're written in code, no one but the one who wrote the notes are supposed to know their contents. Also, I assume that the Investigations Team is there."

"Of course, I called them before you. They're trying to piece together what happened."

"Stay there. I want to be updated on their progress."

"Yes sir," she said.

The phone clicked. Roy sank back in his chair, forgetting about the poor Master Sergeant in front of him. He wanted to murder someone. The last thing he need on his plate was one of his subordinates missing. Then again, Edward tended to make him work harder in stressful times. He caught sight of a face looking at him with curiosity. Then he remembered Furey's report.

"Fuery," he barked.

The nervous man jumped in surprise. "Yes sir?"

"I want you to gather Breda, Havoc, and Falman. Come back here in ten minutes, we need to take care of a situation right now."

The Master Sergeant nodded and hurried out of the room, no doubt sensing the unspoken threat in the air. Roy rubbed his temples in frustration. He wanted to find out answers now, he wouldn't get any from the people in charge. Ever since Maes died he didn't gain any connections with the Investigations Department. That meant snooping. He didn't like to use that tactic much, but when something involved his subordinates, he wanted to know. The silence in his office stretched. He tried to sort out his thoughts and the possible situations Edward got himself into.

The most logical connection seemed to be with the Stone. Perhaps the homunculi from Laboratory Five kidnapped him to make a stone in secret. But waiting this long after the destruction of that made no sense if that turned out to be the case. No, some other force played into this. His thoughts go interrupted by the coming of his subordinates. They looked curious as to why they got called into a meeting. Seldom did he call them in outside of the Monday schedule. Each one took a spot around his desk.

"What's up, Chief?" Havoc asked in a relaxed tone.

For some reason, that irked Roy. However, he couldn't yell at him for being oblivious to the situation at hand. When they found out though, he got the feeling that each one would go out on a limb to try and find Edward. He sighed.

"There's a situation at hand," Roy began. He used his commanding tone to grab their attention.

"Oh, is that why Riza isn't here?" Breda asked.

He continued on. "Yes. Edward Elric is missing. She is down there watching the Investigations Team and collecting information."

Everyone exchanged worried glances.

"Are you sure that he didn't run off on some new lead?" asked Havoc.

"She said that there are signs of a struggle and if the Investigations department is already down there, then something is wrong."

"What do you want us to do?" Fuery asked.

"I want information. Keep your eyes opened and peeled. Falman, you're off duty in thirty minutes. I want you to snoop around Central to see if anyone made mention of FullMetal."

"Sir?" Havoc interrupted.

"Yes?"

"What about his brother?"

"According to Ed, he is in Risembool. Which brings me to the other half of my instructions," Roy said. "Fuery, I want you to get in contact with Al. Find out he received any threats or calls from FullMetal in the past two or three days. Havoc, I want you to go down and assist Hawkeye. Breda, keep your eyes and ears open for any information in the office. Contact me at thirty minute intervals and report. Dismissed."

They saluted and filed out of the office. He decided to do some of his own investigating in the office by going to report to the General. After all, he needed to turn in some paper work before the end of the day. With a grunt, he grabbed the stack and found his way up three flights of stairs. He knocked on a thick door belonging to General Firmin.

"Come in," he heard.

Roy pushed the door open and walked inside. The dim lighting in the room came as a shock but he soon adjusted. A shadow moved from behind the desk.

"Colonel Mustang here to report," Roy said. He raised his hand to salute.

"Ah, I didn't expect those documents for another three hours. Go ahead and leave them on my desk. I'm sure that you're busy with one of your team members missing."

"Thank you sir," Roy said. He walked over and placed the stack on the desk.

_So the higher-ups already know about Edward's situation. No doubt they knew more involving the situation. I won't press though. I'll get the information out of them one way or another._

He turned his back and walked away.

"Colonel," Firmin's voice interrupted.

He stopped and turned. "Yes sir?"

"The answer you seek may be under your nose."

"Thank you for your advice, sir."

He saluted and walked out of the office. The hidden message didn't escape him. They knew something he didn't. A shudder escaped his usual composed self. The idea that the military kidnapped Edward didn't seem far-fetched. With all the corruption going on, that seemed like a plausible situation. Back in his office, he found the phone ringing. Without hesitation, Roy answered.

"Hello, Roy Mustang speaking."

"Sir, Hawkeye reporting in."

"Go ahead," he said.

"The Investigations team found the source of entry. They went through a window on Edward's floor. They broke one panel of glass, enough to unlock the window. My guess is that someone scouted the place before hand. Also, there is blood indicating that someone got injured. Whoever did this didn't care about getting caught. Which leads me to believe that the one who did this is not the one we should be looking for," she said in a hurried breath.

"You mean that the person is supposed to be a fall guy."

"Yes, that means we shouldn't be wasting time looking here. Someone else doesn't want Edward to be found."

"I assembled the team. Havoc should be there by now."

"Yes, he's here. According to him, there's a possible chance that two people took Edward."

"That doesn't bode well for our investigation or FullMetal."

"No sir, we'll keep you informed."

"Thank you, Riza."

"No problem, sir."

The phone clicked. He leaned against his chair and sighed. The information didn't prove to be any help. In contrast, what he heard sounded worrisome. That and the higher-ups knew about the disappearance already. His head started to ache but he didn't let that hinder his thought process. After a while, he picked up a pen and started to sign documents, trying to calm himself down.

The situation didn't make any sense. Then again, the happenings of disappearances seldom did. His scars itched. They didn't pain him like usual. Something in the back of his mind told him that this would not turn out well. With an unconscious movement, he placed the pen on his desk and traced his wrists. Images from that incident came flooding back. The pain, the torture, and him begging to be let go. He winced at the thought. Now that he lingered on the memory though, two people broke into his house that one night.

Two people brought him to an unspeakable situation that still haunted him. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. The whole incident started seventeen years ago, the one that changed his life, and became his reason for joining the military: his horrifying past.


	4. Chapter Four: Breaking

Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist in any shape or form, and I never will.

Lady Monozuki: Sorry for the delay from the last update. Thank you to everyone who added me to alerts and favorite stories. :D Without further delay, here's chapter four!

_Chapter Four:_ _Breaking_

Pain, that's all he could think about. The extreme and unbearable anguish that stung all over his body, the result of his inability to cooperate. At first he didn't care. He never gave the action of resisting a second thought. Now he paid the price for his unwillingness. The worst, he figured, had yet to come. But already he could feel invisible scars forming around his wrists and ankles. The rope bit into his skin and did not relinquish its hold. He wanted to cry out but knew that no one would come to his aid. In his bleary eyes, he caught movement. Seconds later, a whip bit into his side. He suppressed another scream. Tears formed in his eyes. Four days of endless torture. No one knew his location. And no one came. He longed to be rescued from his dark prison.

All memories of light faded, as did his carefree life in Risembool. His haunting past kept tormenting him. The unspoken words of his assailant hovered in the air. They echoed in his mind throughout the cold nights that he spent huddled in a corner. They whispered obscenities and degrading terms. He tried to keep his past hidden, his guarded secret. He didn't want anyone to touch the scars that covered his body, the proof of a tremendous sin he committed. He cowered, the thought brought shivers down his spin. The whip met an untouched piece of skin, which turned red upon contact. He closed his eyes and wished for this to be all over. However, he knew that more came to follow. As if reading his thoughts, he felt cold fingers touch his wounded flesh. The rest he tried to drown out.

--

Roy bolted straight up. His heart raced at memories of what happened so many years ago. Looking around, he saw his familiar office. Then he realized that he had fallen asleep at the desk. He shuddered and straightened his uniform. He didn't say anything though before a familiar face walked through the entrance of his office. Riza Hawkeye carried a rather thick folder in her arms. She looked at him with concern in her eyes. He waved them off with a shaky hand. His own nightmares caused him to lose sleep at home, and now at work as well.

"Here's what we know about Edward's disappearance so far, sir," she said in a kinder tone.

Ever since Ed disappeared, she became tolerable. In the past four days she didn't draw a gun but still held the same influence over the men. He nodded and hung his head at the new information. They didn't gain any leads or signs. Every time he heard the teen's name, he got this sinking feeling that something horrible befell the FullMetal Alchemist. On her own time, the sharpshooter found evidence of his earlier suspicious that blonde was ill. A thermometer with the temperature still on there that read 101.3 gave them that clue.

_That means that FullMetal already suffered from a weakened body. He wouldn't be in any condition to fight against his assailants. If he's still sick then there is a chance that the illness progressed. However, there are no reports of anyone fitting his description being admitted to the hospital. That means that either they didn't notice or he's dead._

The rest of the information didn't translate in his brain. He didn't care at the moment. Right now, he wanted to get Ed back. Not even the best ten alchemists could replace the talent or intelligence that he possessed. Nor could they compare to his reputation or status that he held in the military.

"Sir? Are you all right?" he heard.

He looked up at Riza. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"The Furher is sending out a search party for Edward. Perhaps you should take the rest of the day off and get some rest. After all, with President Bradley involved, there isn't much to worry about."

Roy closed his eyes. "I suppose. However, I'd feel better if we knew where to start looking for him."

His door opened and slammed shut. He opened his eyes to see a nervous Kain Fuery standing in front of his desk.

"What's the matter, Fuery?" Roy asked in his usual tone.

"S-sir, I went to report to the General's office."

He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to see a point to this conversation. Agitation started to catch up with him. He tapped his fingers against the desk as an outward sign of his feelings. The Master Sergeant went rigid with fear. Roy saw this and tried to keep his temper under control. However, that seemed to be harder to do. With a wave from his hands, he motioned for Fuery to continue.

"I overheard a conversation about Edward," the Master Sergeant said. "Mind you, I only heard on half of what they said. Anyway, the General sounded pissed that the Furher wanted to join the search for Ed and told the person on the other line that they better not screw up their part of the job. I didn't hear anything after that. So I knocked on the door and went in. Sir, I saw blood on his uniform."

"Relax Fuery, I'm sure there's a reason for that. Though I want you to write down in detail what you heard. We'll keep this between the three of us," Roy said. "Also, if any of the General's men come after you, let me know."

"Yes sir," the shorter man piped. He saluted and left the room.

"There seems to be more trouble in the military, Hawkeye."

"I understand sir," she said, catching the hidden meaning behind his words.

Now they needed to be extra careful about what they did and said. With the Furher involved, the whole situation would get out of hand if they didn't take precautions. That meant that everyone needed to watch their backs during this time. Not that he didn't trust higher-ups, he still doubted their motives. Also with the testimony brought in by Fuery that showed that whatever happened to Edward didn't come by accident. He looked over a word laden piece of paper and busied himself with work. The sooner he got all of this done, the more time he could spend looking for the FullMetal Alchemist.

_With any luck, I'll find him before the Furher and that way I can question him first. When we do find Edward we won't know his mental health. Some of the people in charge of questioning use methods that are too harsh. If we surround him with familiar people he might open up and talk to us about the incident. _

He sighed and signed his name at the bottom of the paper. His mind wanted to focus on Ed and all that kept him at the desk was the small stack of paperwork that seemed looming provided the situation at hand. He knew that putting off the work until tomorrow wouldn't do any good. Plus the fact that Riza could send a bullet through his head at any given moment gave him good motivation to keep on going. He picked up another sheet and looked at the printing. This didn't come from the military. No, this came from an outside source. With eagerness, he read each word.

_Roy Mustang,_

_If you want to see the punk alive, I suggest you stop sniffing around where your nose doesn't belong. By the end of the month, you can see him again— that is if you keep your rats from looking too deep._

The person who wrote the note didn't bother to sign a name. He didn't drop any hints as to their location. In fact, this person used type instead of handwriting. With a growl of frustration, he snapped his fingers and burned the paper until nothing but the ashes remained. He couldn't stop an investigation. Not with Edward at risk for something harmful. After checking his calendar, he found the end of the month to be two weeks away. They _couldn't_ wait that long. His body demanded that he sleep. With a grunt, he pried himself from the desk and laid down on the couch in his cramped office. Within a few minutes weariness and exhaustion washed over him and took him into a deep sleep.

--

He curled up in a tight ball, whimpering. The pain of the torture seared with each movement. Though no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop shaking. Fear rose in him when he heard footsteps coming nearer. His mind tried to think about something else and pleaded that they didn't come back to inflict more injuries on him. Never before did such emotions hold a strong grasp over him. Several times he felt them but not to this extreme. The hinges on his door creaked. Light illuminated the room for a brief second, causing temporary blindness. However, that all ended too soon.

"How is he holding up?" he heard. The voice sounded familiar but he couldn't place the face or name anymore.

"Better than we thought. He's weakening, I think that another week or so will do the trick."

"Very well, I'll try and keep suspicion off of us until then. I want to know what he knows, which I'm sure is a lot. Don't underestimate him."

"Yes sir."

They walked away, leaving him alone that one time. He released the tension he built up and tried to recover before the next assault on his body. His eyelids fell but his mind didn't want to rest. He wanted to put up a barrier of defense but felt too weak to even move. No. He couldn't do anything except hope that someone found him. He shivered at the words his assailant never spoke.

"_You're always pretending to be a tough guy, when all you are is afraid that someone will find out that you're nothing but a liar. Even your brother doesn't believe you at times. You say that you do everything for him but he isn't here to save you now. He wasn't there to help you when you suffered through the pain of auto mail, when you became a State Alchemist, when you made the choice to pursue the Stone. I know what your watch says, Ed. __You're nothing but a worthless pipsqueak who doesn't know when to quit. If you knew how to shut up and walk away from a lost cause, then you wouldn't be here. No, your stupid dream brought you here. This is where you're going to stay, in darkness and despair. Everything that you deserve since the day that you made the choice to transmute your mother."_

Tears leaked from his eyes. Worthless, pathetic, insignificant, meaningless, the words haunted him. They taunted him. They attacked his mind and brought him close to the edge of insanity. He could feel his mental stability weakening with every passing day. The sooner he got out of the place, the better. However, his tormentor even said that Mustang gave up looking for him. No one wanted him back. No one cared if he disappeared off the face of the earth. Why? Because he didn't mean a thing. He committed one of the greatest sins in alchemy. No one wanted a broken person. That's why they stopped searching.

A violent cough attacked his already weak body. The vibrations made him feel nauseated and dizzy. Without a doubt, his illness continued to get worse. His body shook from cold and sweat. The sickness didn't go away, the urge to vomit threatened to overpower his will. In the end, he won the battle. He closed his red eyes.

_Is this how I'm going to die? With my argument unresolved with Al? Will he be mad at me if he saw the situation I'm in? What if I don't live and can't get his body back? What about the rest of them? Will they even care if my body shows up in the middle of Central?_

He let out another cough. Everything hurt. He wanted this to end and let his already broken life go back to normal. The cold air in the room pireced through his fragile body without any effort. He willed for peace so that he could get some rest. The minutes stretched on, leaving him restless and angry at his inability to do so.

"Damn it," he coughed.

Not a moment later did sleep engulfed his body and mind.


	5. Chapter Five: Unveiled

**Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist, and I never will.**

Lady Monozuki: *bows profusely* Gomen! I apologize for not getting this up sooner. I've had a hectic week and I'm not going to bore you with what else is going on in my life. Anyway, here's chapter five.

A big thank you to Orange Singer and mrawgirl09 for reviewing! They are much appreciated. This chapter is dedicated to you!

_Chapter Five: Unveiled_

Two weeks and three days marked Edward's disappearance. Since then, Roy steered away from the main investigation, but still sent his crew out to look into the few tips that made their way to his office. To try and pass the time, he decided to catch up on the dealings in and out of the office. His subordinates questioned his motives at first but soon left him alone. He also kept a close eye on General Firmin. Though the man did nothing out of the ordinary, aside from becoming over protective of his office, he wanted to make sure that Fuery's observations received some form of attention. Of course in the back of his mind, he considered doing so a waste of time. But he never doubted any in his inner circle. They wouldn't respect him the same way if he ignored their findings. He turned a page and glanced at the clock.

According to the note he received over two weeks ago, Ed would be back sometime tomorrow. He twirled the pen in his fingers. The seconds ticked by, adding to his frustration. The person who wrote the note didn't give any indication as to where the blonde alchemist would be dropped off. His First Lieutenant walked in with two cups of coffee. Even she didn't know the real reason as to why he halted the full-blown investigation. Though his crew went along, he suspected that she started to search for the teen with the support of others. Not that he cared. She handed him a mug.

"Sir, there's no point on worrying over Edward at this point. Either he's going to be found or not. The military searched all of Central for him."

"I know, Hawkeye. Perhaps someone took him out of town."

"We all feel the same way as you, sir. However, there are other factors involved with his disappearance and trying to get away from the office isn't going to help us. We need to keep an eye out for suspicious activity. You even said so yourself," she said with a small smile.

He didn't say anything, instead he took a sip of his drink and wrinkled his nose at the extreme bitter taste. Havoc knocked on the door. He held a stack of papers in one hand.

"Yo, what am I missing out here?" he asked.

"The Colonel and I were just discussing Ed…and his case," she finished with hesitancy.

The subject seemed to be sensitive to his crew. Though Roy understood to a certain degree, most of them did not know Edward well. Or at least, that's how things seemed.

"Mind if I join in then? I checked out that tip like you asked. From what I understand, there's no real evidence of the sighting. So as for the 'credible witness', I never saw a more drunk person in my life."

"In other words," Roy said. "We're back at square one."

The other man nodded. "Hate to bring bad news," he mumbled.

"I expected as much."

He ran tired fingers through his hair. This meant that they would take another look at the time table. But not tonight, he had other plans. His thoughts drifted back to the memories of his youth. He found himself thinking a lot about those days in light of this event.

"Did I tell you two how I got the scars on my hands and wrists?" he asked.

Havoc and Hawkeye seemed a bit taken aback by his sudden question. Riza took a seat by his desk while Jean stood in place.

"Sir, you told me at the bar."

"You never told me, Chief."

"I doubt that I would ever tell you sober," he whispered. "Because I'm a secretive person. No, I don't want anyone else to know my pain and for them to offer their sympathies on a subject that they don't understand."

"Sir, there's nothing wrong with that."

Havoc stayed silent.

"I want to tell you all of the details."

She nodded. "All right, sir."

He paused for a moment and then tried to think about how best to tell the story. After taking another sip, he began to tell the past which he kept hidden for so long.

_Rain drummed against the ground. He held a bag against his stomach, trying to protect the medicine for his mother from the wet that consumed everything not under cover. His mind raced as he thought of the tasks he still needed to finish before the end of the day. Laundry needed to be folded, floors needed to be washed and his dad didn't expect to be home until late._

_That meant he also needed to prepare meals for the family again. Not that he minded. In a sense, he felt bad for his mother's condition. After giving birth to him, her constitution weakened, rendering her useless for the most part. Roy looked up at the sky, the drops seemed to lessen at first. However, the storm worked against him again._

_He groaned. The path to his house would no doubt be flooded to the point where no one could cross. A curse escaped his lips. Leaving his mother at home alone didn't appeal to him. But the likelihood of him getting to their home didn't bode well, and the chances of success went down at every passing minute. Thunder rolled and lightening splashed across the sky._

_He wanted to bash his head against the wall. The store clerk offered him a ride home but he refused. As he stood underneath the pouring rain, he felt racked with indecision. Taking the long way around seemed like a plausible option. He started to make his way to the covered path that offered the second route. Not too long into his venture did fallen trees and flooded puddles get in his way._

_He thought about going around them but couldn't see a shallow area to cross. His mother needed the medication but he had no way of getting to her. He walked through the forest and tried to find a way out but no clear path became visible. That's when he saw an old house. At first he wondered how he missed the rotting home. Then he realized how far he wandered away from the main road. A sneeze built up and he started to shiver._

_Whether or not the place provided any warmth didn't matter, he needed to get out of the rain for now. If he didn't, he'd end up bedridden like his mom. With caution, he walked up to the door. No one seemed to be occupying the place. He knocked all the same but if someone did answer, he didn't hear._

_The door opened without a sound. He walked in. Finding shelter in an unusual spot turned out to be helpful. He could wait until the weather got better and he could see in front of him. He still felt uneasy about leaving his mother alone and being out in an abandoned home. Darkness obscured his vision. He raised a hand and started to feel around for something to illuminate the room. He knocked over a lantern. _

_His quick reflexes allowed him to catch the object before it fell to the floor. Without seeing, he checked to make sure that the light source came with all of the essential components needed to brighten the area. All he needed to find was a match. He groaned. Looking for something like that didn't appeal to him. _

_The boy set the bag down on the table and felt for anything else. A box of matches shifted when he bumped them with a clumsy hand. Shaking, he picked one up and lit the lantern. His eyes hurt for a bit but soon adjusted to the brightness. The place looked well kept for an old home. White sheets blanketed any furniture and small hits of dust graced the rest of the surfaces. Still though, someone kept a light near the door. _

_That meant someone used this place not too long ago. He explored the rooms on the lower floor before moving upstairs. At first, he thought that a door slammed behind him but brushed that off as thunder. He walked into an empty room, the bed looked appeasing and comforting. He didn't think that anything would be wrong with him taking a nap there for a few hours. _

_In the middle of his sleep, a crash woke him up. He sprang out of bed and shifted into a basic fighting position, one that his father taught him in case the military tried to break into their homes. He never used the stance before but knew everything, in theory. No other noise came from any other place. Without dropping his guard, he shifted the weight of his body, causing a creak to echo in the house. His breath caught in his throat and he wondered if someone heard that. After a while, he relaxed and decided to leave the place. _

_Without warning, a fist knocked him to the ground. He tried to scramble to his feet in order to fight back. However, he didn't get a chance. The person grabbed his arms and pinned them behind him. He struggled and kicked, but didn't get free. A second set of footsteps walked in. _

"_Hey now, be careful with him. The boss doesn't want him to be hurt too much."_

"_I _know_ what the boss said. I knocked the shrimp down so that this would all be easier. Now grab his feet, he likes to squirm."_

"_We need to hurry this up. This place floods like none other and the boss wants to see him soon. He'll be pissed if his cargo isn't there by the designated time."_

"_I heard the orders! Now let's get moving!"_

_He screamed and used the last of his strength to try and break free. But to no avail. His vision went black with a blow to his neck._

_When he awoke, rough cords bit into his hands and prevented escape. The skin on his wrists and ankles felt pinched and ached, longing for release. Black shrouded his vision of the room. His mind shifted thoughts and decided to break free. After ten minutes of struggle, he stopped. The resistance he put up didn't compare to the strength of his bonds. He tried to piece together the events and they left him feeling lost. A mental list of enemies started to form but each seemed unlikely to go through with such actions. Heavy footsteps brought his attention to the person who walked into the room. Temporary light broke the blinding darkness. _

_His eyes burned and wanted to see something outside of his black cage. He heard a chuckle in the deafening silence. Without warning, a whip crashed against his skin. He could feel the stinging and marks. Another crack and he gained another line. Bruises started to form on his skin. The imagery didn't want to leave his mind. Pain clouded his thoughts and he could only focus on that one feeling. The torture continued on. All sense of time vanished. He didn't know how long the person stood over him. Cold metal touched the skin on his shoulder. He felt the engraving of some letters, at least that's what he assumed. The blade dug deeper in his flesh, causing him to cry out one more time. His voice cracked._

_The tormentor left him alone but came back not too long after. His bruises turned into small cuts, which bled onto the cold floor. The person untied him and left him alone until the next day. The routine became familiar for three days. He didn't receive food or water until the fourth night. That's when his attacker added a new element. Instead of being beaten, he experienced a different pain that he didn't know existed. His body felt on fire and every small movement became burdened. He cried out in desperation to escape the horrible fate but no one heard his cries. _

_His life seemed worthless at the time. He laid alone in a dark room, not knowing when the person would come back. The little sleep he got came from passing out in the middle of each new session. The pain became a regular feeling, as did thoughts of worthlessness, self-loathing, and hatred. His attacker took satisfaction in breaking his spirit and mind. The spoken words echoed in his mind._

"_No one wants you. They aren't looking for you. That's why no one's come for you. You aren't wanted anymore. I know the truth. Your mother cries every time she sees you. She remembers the pain she went through to let you live. But she never loved you. That's why she hits you every time she sees you. You made her weak. You broke your body. You're the cause of her suffering."_

_The beatings intensified. He lost track of everything that once seemed familiar. He thought that over time he would become immune to the feeling. However, he turned out to be very wrong. His memory started to fail. He didn't remember what happened the previous day and he thought that with all of the blood he lost that he would die._

_He never got hungry because of his excruciating pain, he never felt thirsty because his throat always ended up dry. His body started to waste away. His mind suffered more permanent damage. After endless days and nights, he saw the light. He became aware of a different kind of feeling, warmth. At first he panicked. No one passed his way, no one to take notice of his broken body. Fear started to eat away at him. The words of his assailant echoed in his mind. Tears streaked his face. He drifted in and out of consciousness. Several thoughts ran through his head. Each one became more and more desperate. _

To be continued…


	6. Chapter Six: Misery

**Disclaimer:****I do not own FullMetal Alchemist, blah, blah, blah.**

Lady Monozuki: Hello everyone! I decided to get this chapter out sooner than I would normally do because I felt bad for giving you such a late update last time. Orange Singer pointed out a very valid question when reviewing. I wanted to take a moment to address that. What I tried to convey there was the Roy was tired from the torture. I guess that didn't come off too clear. I blame myself for trying to write (and edit) at two in the morning. I plan on going over that piece later this evening. Hopefully this one is better written. I apologize if it isn't. I hope the feelings come off clear.

A big thank you to Orange Singer and bluebird alchemist for reviewing! This chapter is dedicated for you two!

_Chapter Six:_ _Misery_

_(continued from last time)_

_He began to silently plead and pray that his family still remembered him—could even recognize him in this state. The minutes ticked by. As the skies grew darker, he began to doubt his survival. Every second that went by felt like an hour of waiting. He didn't believe that crying out would do any good. His voice felt damaged beyond repair at that moment. The wind began to blow, making him want to shift positions. He tried to move in his weakened state but this brought on groans of protest. _

_Then he realized that he didn't budge an inch. His body stayed in the same position, exposed to the brutality of the cold air. Shudders racked his body, causing him to feel more pain. Another tear leaked from the corner of his eye. In this helpless spot, he couldn't do anything. His body was broken and beaten, his spirit crushed, and his mind destroyed. For a while, he didn't blame anyone for not coming down the path. He wouldn't look for a lost soul._

_But hope came when a military officer found him on his way home one day and took his bleeding and battered body to the nearest hospital. He remembered the comfort the lumpy bed brought. The relief that he felt at the knowledge that the person couldn't reach him brought reassurance. Over time, his physical wounds healed. His mental health never did. He regained his speech and told his story to the police. At first, they questioned his sanity. Did he even know what happened in the time of his disappearance or was he making everything up? Retelling his story several times convinced him._

_Never seeing the attacker's face didn't little to aid the investigation. No evidence came forth. With nothing to go on, they gave up not too long after, calling his attack an unfortunate event. That did nothing to bring comfort to him. Nightmares plagued his nights. Sleep became a rarity for him, though no one took care of him. They expected for him to perform the same duties as before. _

_His oldest friend, Maes dropped by every once in a while and brought him the peace which he needed and missed. In the darkness of his mind, he kept reliving each tormented night, each moment of abuse, and each time he felt twisted pain. His mental health continued to deteriorate and soon he refused to even go out of his room. One night, his family decided that they didn't want to deal with a tormented child and abandoned him. _

_When he went down the stairs one morning, he saw an empty house. No one came to get him. He was alone with his nightmares. Each hour grew worse. He raised a broken piece of glass to his wrists but couldn't cut. Something prevented him from doing so._

What difference does my living make though? Everyone abandoned me. Why should I keep my life? There's no hope, there's no light at the end of this dark tunnel. There is nothing binding me to this twisted world, I lost everything in the two weeks of my disappearance. I am alone. No one cares.

_His thoughts continued like that for several days. But then a light came his way, alchemy saved his life, gave him the reason he needed to survive. Flame alchemy became a special interest to him and he sought out the sole teacher on the subject. The man died, entrusting him to destroy the secret art before anyone else could use it as a weapon and his daughter. He did so. After his training, he joined the military as a State Alchemist, one of the best. At that time, he became the enemy of many higher officials because of his good looks and how young he was at the time. _

_At first, his joining the military carried a secret agenda: to get close with all the criminals. He never shook the feeling that his attacker still roamed the streets, preying on small boys. His true intentions never made their way to the officials. If they did, he would lose all ranking and credibility amongst them. Using them to get to get what he wanted was risky, he knew that. He played the game and used their own tactics to win. No new information every came though. Soon, he moved past the thought of revenge and rebuilt his life._

_But that didn't last long when the war in Ishbal broke out and he got shipped out to the front lines. He killed so many innocent people. Their dying screams started to shatter his frail state. They didn't stand a chance against his flames. They didn't even get a chance to fight back or live their lives to the fullest. The people that he slaughtered, the futures he took away became too much. On that battlefield, he crumbled again. _

_He became no better than his attacker from his youth. The similarities made him despise himself. When he returned home, a hero in the people's eyes, he tried to commit suicide. The thought of his life for the hundreds he destroyed sounded appeasing, plus he could be rid of the guilt that racked him. If he could bring them all back, he would. The answer came to him: forbidden alchemy. He never went through with any of the rituals, he couldn't even bring himself to pull a trigger. A new plan formed in his mind. If he became the Furher, he would eliminate all of the criminals on the street, bringing the end of suffering. _

_That's when he made his choice and a promise to himself. He would become Furher and bring peace to the broken land. And while he waited for the right moment, he'd dedicate his life to ensuring that no one else suffered._

With that, he glanced at the shocked faces of two subordinates. His body shook from remembering the details of each event. Each memory felt like hot irons pressed against his skin. Havoc walked over to him and slapped his cheek. Roy looked at him in surprise.

"Don't ever compare your life to Edward's," he growled. "You grew up with extravagancies that Ed will _never _know. He became a State Alchemist at twelve for the sake of his brother. You enlisted for selfish reasons!"

"Havoc, stand down," Hawkeye warned.

Jean didn't say anything else. He turned and walked away. Roy sat there in surprise. What did he expect from telling his morbid tale? Did he expect them to sympathize with him because of his past? One thing became clear, he did not get the reaction he intended.

"You know, _Colonel_," Havoc said from the doorway. "If you don't ever move past your own self-pity, you will never be able to help others or prevent their suffering."

With that, he left. Roy turned to Hawkeye, expecting her to say the words that he wanted to hear. Instead, she let the silence drag on. He wanted to shift his gaze to the floor, but didn't. She stood and walked over toward him. Expecting a slap, he closed his eyes and tried to block out the pain sure to come. A gentle embrace caught him off guard.

"Roy, I'm sorry that you endured all of that suffering. But Havoc is right to a certain degree. You became a social outcast because your family abandoned you. Edward is fighting for his family and no one is giving up on him. But that doesn't mean he's not giving up on himself. When we find him, we're going to be his support. When Ed became a State Alchemist, you vowed to do everything your power to help him succeed in getting his brother's body back. If he's in the same condition as you were, then we need to be prepared. If you don't get your act together, we may as well give up."

"You are all more capable than you let on," Roy countered.

"Yes sir, but are you going to let fear drive you away from your chance to help Edward?"

The question, though simple, proved harder to answer.

--

His head ached from last night's episode.

_A hand grabbed his throat, catching him off guard. The other hand grabbed his crotch, causing him to flinch. No matter how many times this happened, he could get used to the feeling. He managed to ignore the strokes by focusing on the lack of air in his lungs. The pressure lessened as the person worked faster. He didn't want this to happen. Even in the pitch black room, he wanted to hide his embarrassment. A cry escaped his lips when the attacker tugged against the chains, turning him over. He knew what would happen next. _

_His already sore opening got assaulted once again. But this time the attack was worse. A harsh thrust made him cry out again. The stroking continued and tried to ignore everything._

"_There is nothing left for you now. You life is meaningless. You swore to protect your little brother after your mother died, but you got him trapped in a body of armor. You're the reason why he's suffered so much. You couldn't accept your loss. You're to blame for everything."_

He choked on a dry sob. He wanted to forget about those words. They cut too deep for his liking. An unsuppressed shudder racked his frame. Coughs attacks followed not too long after. Pain exploded from wound, internal and external. To try and take his mind off of the feelings, he tried to calculate how many days had passed since he awoke in the repulsive prison. He lost track because he didn't know how many times he slept.

_Ugh, everything is fuzzy. I can't think straight. I'm pathetic. Damn it! If I kept my guard up I wouldn't be here. Hell, if I didn't mess with the laws of alchemy, I wouldn't be here. This is _my _fault._

The bonds that held his wrists cut deeper into his skin as he shifted positions. Whoever kept him made sure to keep his two arms far from each other. Though he gave up on escape on the first day, he tried to hold on to sanity. He struggled against the ridiculing voice that taunted, threw insults, terrorized, and destroyed every dream he held on to. But that resolve did not last. Guilt and self-loathing appeared in his thoughts more often than not. He regretted some of the choices he made, yes. But he never needed another reason to doubt their search for the Stone.

However, his existence didn't matter anymore. Every secret, hurt, and fear he held on to echoed through his mind. The torment of living with the guilt he shouldered never went away. He wanted to end the pain. He wanted his assailant to destroy his life so that he wouldn't live to see the next down. But that never happened. No matter how hard he prayed for death to take him, he never faded away. Another cough attacked his broken body, agitating his wounds further.

He felt inflammation and infection making their home on the many open cuts that covered his skin. Disgust washed over him, causing more thoughts of hatred to surface. He cursed his weak body for being susceptible to illness. He detested his own existence even more. He was insufferable, a pathetic excuse for a brother. With a grunt, he shifted his weary body. His stomach churned at the thought. Nausea threatened to overpower but soon passed. He closed his eyes.

Rest didn't want to come. His brain didn't want to shut down on the chance that his attacker might come back. Over the past few days though, his fears became erratic and unjustified. He convinced himself that Al would not want to return once he heard about what his brother went through. The shocking site of his new collection of wounds would scare anyone away. Not to mention, no one wanted a shattered mind. To try and pick up the pieces in his life would be grueling and pointless.

They wouldn't spend much time doing so anyway. Al only cared about getting his body back, he could do that on his own if he wanted. But no doubt would build him up to a point where he could function once again. But once they completed that task, he would disappear from his life. Roy and the rest held no obligation to him. In fact, he owed them more than he could imagine. Nothing stopped them from leaving him abandoned on the side of the street. No contract prevented their leaving. Without them, he supposed that then he could die in peace. He knew that they hated him for his many transgressions.

He felt tears threatening to fall. Willing himself not to cry at his own hopelessness, he focused on the pain instead. As long as he felt the hurt, he could live with his choice. Telling himself that he bore all responsibility for Al's situation brought a strange comfort. As long as he suffered, no one else took part in the blame that belonged to him and him alone.

Footsteps echoed in the hallway before his room. He heard them several times before and prepared himself for the mental anguish and torture to come. The door opened but no light flooded in this time. He started to steel himself for the hours to follow. Familiar cold fingers touched his skin. A shudder coursed through his body. Seconds later, the bindings on his wrists started to loosen. The man freed them and let Ed's arms fall to his side. If strength didn't fail him, he would have thought of a way to transmute the bastard into something else.

However, his idea stopped there. Exhaustion of the events kept him in the same area. Next came the cords around his feet. Like his arms, his legs fell to the ground. Relief from no longer being in a hanging position brought a small peace to his mind. The hands grabbed him again. Using his last reserves of strength, he struggled against the hold. But his attack did nothing. He fell limp. His limbs dangled as the person picked him up. Ed begged for death, knowing that whatever the man had in store for him would be far worse. For a moment, he started to fall asleep.

"Wake up, Edward. The real fun is about to begin," his attacker whispered.


	7. Chapter Seven: Found

**Disclaimer: I once again declare that I do not own FullMetal Alchemist (like you didn't know that already), nor ever will.**

Lady Monozuki: I'm not going to make much comment here, except that this is a longer chapter. This chapter is dedicated to **Orange Singer**, who reviewed once again. I'm very appreciative of that. I hope you enjoy!

_Chapter Seven: Found_

The young alchemist raised a hand over his head and tried to block out the bright light that now illuminated the room. His head throbbed as did the rest of his body. He shuddered at the memory of earlier.

_Ed opened his hazy eyes and counted four people standing in a larger room, still poorly lit. He realized then what would happen next. His mind already tried to block out the events soon to come. One of them walked over and looked him over. The lust in his eyes became even more apparent the closer he got to his face. He didn't hear anything in the room but the sounds of his mind screaming for the man to get away. Hot breath crashed against his neck, making him cringe a bit. No preparation came this time. The man slammed into him. A cry escaped his lips. His voice cracked. The others soon crowded around him. They all took their turns shoving their members up his ass. _

Somewhere in the event, he ended up on the floor, like an old toy. Ed looked at his surroundings. They seemed to be celebrating over some event. He didn't care about that though. A shiny gleam caught his eyes. The knife lying on the table looked more appealing. An opportunity to end his misery presented itself and he intended to take advantage of that. He placed one elbow in front of the other and dragged his body across the floor. His strength wanted to give out on him, but he wouldn't quit. He never gave up.

_They turned his suffering into a competition. Whoever could get him to scream the loudest would get a prize. He didn't want to know what they would get. All he wanted to do was sleep. But they wouldn't allow him to rest. The thrusts and abuse on his body increased. He coughed up blood at some point and came closer to puking with each attack. His mind begged for an end to all of this. To try and curve anything worse from happening, he let out a loud cry that ruined his voice even more. He couldn't speak anymore, he doubted that he ever would again._

He lifted his hand and felt the handle against his crushed hand. The stretch caused some of his wounds to open again. He didn't care though. All that ran through his head was an end to his suffering. He wanted to die. He didn't want to feel the pain that tormented his body and he didn't want the guilt of his brother's situation to loom over his head. He'd pass on as a failure. He gripped the weapon and fumbled before bringing a shaky hand to his other wrist.

The cold from the blade touched his skin. He pressed the sharp end into an existing wound. Blood began to pour from the cut. No regret came from this choice. He wanted this. With a firmer hand, he readied himself to make a longer cut, one that would end his sorry excuse for a life. Edward took a deep breath in and started to do what he should have done years ago. He began to press down harder but a hand stopped him. He looked behind him to see one of the people who raped him preventing him from bringing on death.

His hand tried to pull away from the firm grip but he couldn't muster the energy or strength. All the nights of starvation caught up to him. His vision spun as he fell to the floor.

--

He reached over and grabbed the ringing phone. His mind was focused on going over the plan once again. He wanted to make sure that everything turned out just right.

"Hello, Roy Mustang's office," he said in a distant tone.

"Colonel!" an exasperated voice said over the other line.

He recognized the tone immediately. Roy wanted to hang up right then and there, but knew that he would keep on calling the office.

"Alphonse, why are you calling?"

"I think you know why."

"I suggest you get to the point and stop wasting my time."

"You called off the search for my brother, didn't you?"

_Oh god, he's going to think that I gave up on his brother. This is bad._

"You don't understand all of what's going on over here," Roy said.

"No I don't, but why did you give up on Brother? Sure he can be a pain, but why did you call off the search?"

"Because I had to."

"No you didn't! He's still out there! My brother is still out there, in some awful situation, no doubt. What have you done? _Nothing_. I thought that you cared about him, about us."

"I do."

"Then why aren't you out there right now?"

He sighed. "Because I had to," he repeated.

"I'm headed on the first train to Central. If you're not going to look for him, I am."

The phone clicked. He placed the handle down and rubbed his head. Explaining these sort of situations never came easy. But he thought that the conversation went well considering the circumstances. Roy glanced at the clock. Five more minutes until he got off work. He wished the hours would go by faster, then they could resume the search for Ed.

A knock on his office door broke him out of his daze.

"Come in," he said as the door opened.

His First Lieutenant walked in. She eyed him with curiosity. Ever since his little "heart to heart" earlier, she looked at him like he would commit suicide at any moment. Not that he blamed her. He did attempt to kill himself more than once. But he felt her concern was wasted with Ed gone. Once they figured out the location of the teen, then they could talk more about his mental health.

"Sir, Fuery worked on rewiring those radios like you asked. They now work up to the next town and he found a way to keep out the taps. Falman and Havoc are in position, they're waiting for your orders. Breda, Fuery, and I will be leaving in a while to get in ours. What about you?"

"I'll be ready in a few minutes. I need to sign a few more papers. Wait for me by the vehicle. I'll be down there five minutes' tops."

"Yes sir," she said with a salute.

She walked out of there without another question. He watched her go. Once he felt certain that she wouldn't be turning back, he sighed and rubbed his scars. Over the past few days they had pained him worse than ever. He didn't know why considering the wounds healed seventeen years. With a grunt, he added his signature to one last paper and grabbed his black coat. Tonight, he would bring back the FullMetal Alchemist. If the bastard who wrote the note kept his word, the task should be simple.

But if he didn't, then the unfortunate person would meet his end with a team of infuriated soldiers. Provided of course, they found him. The walk to the car felt strange and awkward. The few remaining faces in the office looked his way. A few of them nodded at him while the rest ignored his presence. The sleeping rage woke up and wanted to be unleashed. He intended to capture the one who kidnapped Ed. He didn't know why he had this strong desire to get vengeance.

He didn't even know the condition of the teen or who kidnapped him. He met the demands for two weeks, working underneath the table. His actions didn't infuriate the one who sent him the note so he assumed that Ed still lived. He shook his head.

_Edward is still alive._

--

Voices penetrated the darkness he wished to stay in. A hand gripped his wrist and started to drag his body. Pain shot through his arm. He realized that they used the same arm he tried to cut open earlier. He didn't offer resistance. He opened his eyes to try and figure out the new surroudings. Nothing familiar came into view. Two arms scooped his body and started walking. The chatter continued but he didn't register any of their words in his mind. His mind wanted to turn off and rest. But the ever present danger that loomed hung in the air. The silent threat kept him from falling asleep.

He buried himself in his thoughts, trying to convince himself that someone he knew would come looking for him. That someone _cared_ for him. Tears started to leak from his eyes. He felt so alone in the world. He wanted to die and end this nightmare. According to what the attacker said, Roy gave up hope on him first. His brother didn't even leave Risembool to come and look for him. They all used him and when he disappeared they were glad to be rid of him.

_I can't blame them. I'm nothing but pile of rubbish. I cause nothing but trouble for those around me. No wonder why they gave up on me. I'm sure that Al is a lot happier without me screwing up his life. Maybe…I can exchange my life for his. If I died then he wouldn't have to live with me. That way we'll both be happy with our lives. I'm worthless and annoying. Everyone hates me. I know they do. Mustang is always bitching at me because I'm irresponsible and don't listen to what he says._

_The others hide their feelings but I know how they feel. They don't care. When I can use my hands again, I'll ask Teacher for the rays to accomplish the transmutation. If that fails, I will transmute my arm and end my life. As long as I get Al his body back, that will atone for one of the several sins I've committed. Of course, that is if I survive this hellhole._

His thoughts got interrupted when he got dumped on something soft. His body protested at the harsh action but he didn't make any movement. In his dazed state, everything seemed sluggish and slow. New voices hit his ears but they sounded unfamiliar. A strange hand brushed his hair from his dirty face. He tried hard to lift his head to catch a glimpse at the person…but what for? He didn't know. All that filled his mind was making a memory of their faces.

Their faces didn't register in his mind. Placing their faces in his memory proved to be a grueling and draining task. His head throbbed even more before. He put his head down and tried to get sleep. The softness embraced him and didn't want to let go. However, the peace didn't last. Nightmares started to grip his thoughts. Pain from his memories made him writhe and try to escape them. No help came though, just like real life. No one rescued him from the darkness that covered everything in sight.

"When are you going to drop off the kid?" he heard.

"Sometime after midnight. The weather should be enough to prolong his suffering. I doubt that anyone will find him until morning. By then, no life will be left in his little body."

_Who are you calling so short that he can't live without the help of life support?_

"What about the note?"

"Did the trick. He called off all search parties. I don't see what's so important about this damn kid."

"He did take longer to break than most."

"Doesn't matter, we broke him and now he'll know who he will respect. Now leave him here and I'll take care of the rest. Don't let _them_ see you come out of this office and for god's sake, clean yourselves up."

"Yes sir," came a unison reply.

"Dismissed, now get your asses out of here."

Hurried footsteps left him alone with an unknown person. He felt the rough touch of a hand. He didn't recoil though. After so many hours of enduring torture and rape, the feeling did little to rile him up. Earlier, he would have smacked the hand away and ask the person what the hell they intended on doing.

But now, he lay there in a defenseless position, wondering why they bothered to keep him alive. They ruined his live in every other way, why not finish him off and be done with the deed. Why bother returning him? No one wanted a broken person. That's why everyone left him. He screwed up enough lives and he didn't deserve a second chance. Tears started to leak from his dry eyes. He hated them for doing this.

But now, he realized that everything he once fought so hard for meant nothing. His life paled in comparison to the others who surrounded him, and Al deserved a second chance. Because he robbed his brother of the only life he could ever hope for. A tongue touched his skin, licking away the tears that streaked his face. An unsuppressed shiver ran down his spine.

Ed wanted to push the man away but knew that failure would be the outcome. Instead of brute force, gentle and soothing hands touched him. He expected to be pushed to the floor with his head banged against the wood. That didn't come. But what happened became one of the worse experiences of him life.

The gentleness threw him off for a bit. But that didn't stop the violent attack of his lower body. The older man thrust into him with a force that went unmatched in his several days in the darkness. His body cried out, begging for something to numb the pain. The hurt went away but the relief didn't last for long. He didn't know how he ended up on the floor, but somehow he lay there coughing. Exhaustion swept over him in waves. His voice felt every bit as violated as his lower body.

Ed wanted to bury his head. He hated being attacked in the open. Shame and exposure made him embarrassed. He wanted a way to hide that.

_What difference does it make? You're garbage. No one would want to take a second glance at you anyway._

"You know Edward Elric," his attacker whispered. "I'm going to miss you."

--

Roy Mustang tapped his fingers against the table at the restaurant. He looked over at Riza with a mild interest in their conversation. He nodded at her words. His mind focused on the task at hand. Their plan seemed flawless, but he felt that they needed to cover all of the points again. Falman, Havoc, and Breda took their positions almost two hours ago.

The clock ticked closer to midnight. Under normal conditions, he would've set up operations in his office. But he doubted that any place could be considered safe there. Also, this place provided more cover and without chance of being overheard.

His First Lieutenant stood and then walked away. They came up with a simple cover: a date gone wrong. To anyone watching, she would look like she got frustrated with his inattention. Not that they needed to go to such extravagancies. The wait staff left them alone on the top floor, not bothering to come more than needed.

Their laziness worked out to his advantage. Not that they'd understand what was happening anyway. He pulled out his radio and placed headphones over his ear. A mouth piece connected so he could speak. Fuery set up his base command in a small café three blocks away. The Master Sergeant spent many hours working on a way to get maximum range on their communicators.

The channel they used required a special key code. He punched in the series of numbers and waited for a reply.

"Bun-Bun, is that you?" he heard.

"No, this is Pookum!"

"Ah, I didn't expect you for another ten minutes. Did you hear anything from Bun-Bun?"

"I would assume that's she's partaking in her nasty habit."

"Oh, that explains a lot. Listen, you need to bring a few extra supplies. I heard that the boys are going to crash our party."

Roy frowned. The higher-ups didn't have any reason to roam the streets at night, unless they acted on orders. He sighed.

"I see. I'll be sure to bring more then. When do you think they'll arrive?"

"From my sources, they're going to come here at a quarter to midnight. I heard that one in particular is keeping an eye on us."

"Why do you think they want to get involved with our plans?"

"I think that they're still pissed at your for that one incident."

"That makes sense. When will the rest of our group be arriving?"

"Bun-Bun should be on now, Honey is here, Sweetie is coming soon, and the other two are here as well."

"Okay, I'll be on my way then," Roy said.

"Be careful, they're not looking friendly."

"I think I know how to handle myself against those jerks."

"All right, be careful anyway. I'll see you soon."

"Bye."

Roy stuck the radio in his pocket. He left the money on the table before leaving. Coming out, he saw what Furey was talking about. Three brigadier generals roamed the streets in their uniforms. One of them stopped there.

"Are you on a date tonight, Colonel?"

He recognized the man as Brigadier General Mills. Roy didn't want to agitate any superior officers on a night like this. Tension already ran high on his end and getting into a fight didn't appeal to him.

"Oh wait, if you were one, there would be a girl hanging all over your arm. What did you do? Screw up?"

"Is my personal life any of your business, Brigadier General?" Roy countered.

The man smirked and placed a hand on Roy's shoulder. He wanted to curl up his fist then. But he didn't.

_Keep calm, Roy. Don't get yourself into too much trouble. Remember, you're out here for Ed._

"No, but I would watch out. These are dangerous times, I'm sure the military would hate to lose their precious flame alchemist."

"Noted, I'll be sure to watch my back. I guess I'll see you around the office, sir."

He did a quick salute before hurrying off. The feeling that they continued to watch him never went away. He knew that they would be running into each other again. Somehow, Ed's kidnapper knew and held connections with the military. Either that or the false sighting of Scar caused enough panic to scare the higher-ups into traveling in groups. Roy didn't care. He heard his radio crack.

"Pookum, did you run into anything? You're late."

He pulled out the radio. "Yes, they cornered me. But I'm on my way right now. Don't worry me, did you locate the others?"

"They're all waiting for you to arrive."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Don't let your guard down."

Roy replaced the radio and then continued to walk down the streets. He managed to avoid any further contact with the roaming soldiers. Fuery stayed in limited contact to receive an update on his location and inform him of no sightings. He cursed the darkness for limited visibility. Roy sighed as he started to walk the familiar path once again. A cry in the distance caught his attention. He didn't hurry toward the sound right away. Instead, he looped around toward the back roads to try and get a glance at the scene.

--

He felt his body being slammed against the ground. His mouth opened to make a sound but nothing came out. He used the last of his strength to kick his auto mail leg at the man who threw him so hard. A cry rand met this attack. The person grabbed his hair with no remorse and slapped his face.

"I hope you rot in hell, you miserable brat."

Ed felt his head fall to the ground. Exhaustion took over at once. Now that no one was raping him or beating him with a whip, he could rest. Fear that they might come back started to rise up in him. He felt sick at the thought. He shuddered in the harsh wind that beat against his too exposed body. The alchemist tried to get a look at his surroundings. The dark alley provided the perfect spot for him to stay. No one would be walking down here this late at night.

Not that he cared anymore. After all, they didn't need him. He could die and no one would give a damn. Ed closed his eyes and begged for death to consume his weakened body. At the rate his body temperature dropped, he estimated that in two hours, his body would become a corpse. Starvation and infected wounds didn't help this by any means. He started to drift off to sleep, hoping he would never wake up. Pounding against the pavement startled him.

He couldn't even lift his head to see who came running toward his direction. In his head, he pleaded that they would walk past him. The footsteps stopped. He heard heavy breathing, as if someone sprinted for a mile. But that didn't concern him.

"Edward?" he heard.

The voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it in his mind. He to tell the person to move on, but couldn't get a sound out. He knew he looked pitiful. Anyone who lay in the street, naked and practically dead always did.

"Oh god Edward, say something!" he heard.

_What am I supposed to say? I don't even know who you are._

"Fuery, I found Ed, he's lying on the alley behind Seventy-Eighth Street. Bring a car; he's going to need a ride to the hospital."

He felt soft hands touch his hair. He caught a glimpse at the white gloves in the night. The symbol on the back surprised him enough. The name came to his mind out of no where. Roy. Roy was the one to find him.

"S-so you fo..und me, C-colonel Bastard," he managed.

_Why the hell is he doing out here? He seemed to be expecting me. Why does he give a shit about a useless person like me?_

The hand lifted his face. Ed saw the eyes of the man he considered to be both a friend and an enemy. He saw pain behind the eyes but didn't know what caused that. All he wanted to do was sleep.

--

Roy pulled off his jacket and draped the cloth over the teen. He took Ed's pulse to see how weak he was. At first, he pressed harder to try when he didn't feel one. He heard squealing tires in the background. His breath caught in his throat. The sight of what happened to him struck too close to his old memories. The several cuts that covered his body made him cringe. He didn't want to even wonder long he suffered. Footsteps came closer to their location.

"Sir, where's Ed?"

He pointed to the lump underneath the jacket. Havoc made movement to remove the clothing but Roy stopped him.

"Don't, he's sleeping. We need to get him to the hospital now.

Roy picked up the teen. He was surprised to find how much weight he dropped since the last time they encountered. Then again, he suspected that much. Blood seeped through the jacket. He carried him to the car with several other waiting people. Fuery gasped at the sight of Ed's face. He felt ill. He imagined himself looking like that seventeen years ago.

"Drive," Roy said.

They sped off toward the military hospital. Roy moved the hair out of Ed's face. The teen twitched in his sleep and blood poured from a wound on his wrist.

"Did you see anything at the scene where you found him?" Hawkeye asked

"No. Whoever left him didn't leave anything behind to be found. I still want someone to check out the place though to be sure."

"Of course, I'll send Falman and Breda to check out the scene after we check Ed into the hospital."

"Good."

Roy hoped that Ed survived.

--

**Author's Note:** I'm not sure how soon updates will be coming after this. Right now I'm trying to keep two of my friends from giving up on life. So updates might be a little slower. I apologize in advance.


	8. Chapter Eight: Resolution

Disclaimer: I don't own FullMetal Alchemist.

Lady Monozuki: The drama in my life is slowly receding , but now I'm fighting illness. Anyway, I want to thank everyone who put me on their favorite story or alert list. I really appreciate you doing so. I want to again thank Orange Singer and mrawgirl09 for reviewing. This is dedicated to anyone who reads this chapter. Sorry this one is so short. I'll make it up to you guys in the future.

_Chapter Eight: Resolution_

The eerie silence stretched on in the waiting area. But none of the four people made any motion to break the quiet. Roy shifted in his seat, earning stares from his subordinates. When they brought Ed in, they didn't know the extent of his injuries. However, looking at the doctor's face told them enough. He tapped his fingers against the arm rest in impatience.

The staff carted the young alchemist off almost five hours ago. No one came to report an update as to his condition. Anxiousness could be sensed in the room. They didn't need to express their worry about the entire situation. Two people walked over toward them. He lifted his head and then let out a scowl when he saw Falman and Breda coming closer. They spent a long time going over the crime scene.

"Sir, we went over every inch of that alleyway," Falman said. The Warrant Officer took a seat next to Roy while Breda walked over to Havoc.

"What did you find? Anything conclusive?"

"There's not much to go on. There's a small pool of blood, no doubt from Ed. We're guessing that the scream you heard came from the one who dumped him there. However, we can only speculate as to what caused him to do so. At this point all we've got is a beat up teen that didn't seem to recognize anyone but you, sir."

Roy nodded. That didn't help matters much. They needed to talk to Ed, but he didn't think that they would get the chance to any time soon. All the evidence that they collected was a note and an attacked alchemist. He sighed and thought about what to do. Once word got out that the "Hero of the People" was attacked in such a fashion, the military would pull all of their resources. He couldn't let that happen yet. They needed this to be kept quiet for a few days so that the attention didn't obstruct their investigation. He didn't want to sift through five hundred false reports. Central Police needed to be informed as well.

He disliked the thought of getting another source to handle the case of one of his subordinates. However, he didn't hold the authority to pull that many strings. Sure, he could make sure that he received a copy of the report and an update. But he couldn't take over their investigation. Sometimes he wondered what the point of being in the military meant if you couldn't interfere with the local affairs. Roy took another look around the waiting room. The arrival of Breda and Falman seemed to ease some of the mounting tension, but not by much. Half of him wanted to storm off and find out what kept the nurses from updating them on Ed's condition.

The other half tried to remain calm. He needed to do so for the sake of his subordinates. Loud footsteps made their way toward their location. Roy spotted a tall doctor in a fresh white coat. A nurse trailed his footsteps. The gravity of their expression did not help their already sinking feelings.

"I heard that you're the ones who brought in Edward Elric," the doctor said in a weary voice.

"That's right," Roy said. "How is he?"

"Not good. When we got him in the operating room, we didn't know what all to expect. But we managed to compile a list of injuries and the like. His left arm is fractured in three places. His ankle is shattered, we managed to correct some of the injury but not by much. He's not going to be able to walk on either foot for a while. There are also several broken ribs and other bones that will keep him down. We managed to stop the internal bleeding and not all of the external wounds are deep. But they'll leave some more scars on his body.

"Also, his throat will take time to recover. We expect he'll start talking after two weeks or so. His head injury is fine as long as it doesn't hemorrhage. Some of the wounds are infected and therefore he's sick. His body is also weak from lack of nourishment. Even with his auto mail, he weighed in at ninety-four pounds. To be honest, we're surprised that he is alive. You can imagine that we're keeping him here for observation. All of his injuries are cause for concern. Our staff is going to be monitoring him around the clock."

Roy got the feeling that the doctor had more to say. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes, there are two main causes for concern. While trying to get his bleeding to stop, we found an incision on his wrist that looked partly self-inflicted. Also, there are signs that the Mr. Elric was raped several times. We're afraid that his mental health is going to be less than stable. When he wakes up, the last thing he'll want is to be reminded of those facts. We don't know whether or not he'll try to commit suicide again, but there's that possibility. From what we can gather, he was sexually and physically assaulted for over two weeks. Does this sound about right?"

"Yes," he replied in a hard voice.

He clenched his fist. A hand on his shoulder caught him off-guard. He turned around to find Riza at his side.

"Is there any chance that we can see him?" she asked.

"Yes, I'll take two of you to see him."

Roy stepped forward, not even bothering to check with his other subordinates about doing so. He imagined Riza asked them all for permission silently before following. The four of them walked off toward Ed's room. The pounding of his heart grew louder the closer that they got. He remembered first seeing the teen. The look in those once vibrant eyes begged him for death. He remembered feeling sick because of that. No, because he recognized that look. How many times did he look the same way? How many times did he want death to come but it never did? They entered the room. The sight alone made him burn with anger. He clenched his fist.

Bandages covered most of the teen's flesh, some already stained with blood. Ed looked feverish and troubled. Sleep did not seem to be doing anything for him. Roy let out a grunt before walking away. He could hear the hurried footsteps of his First Lieutenant behind him.

"Sir?"

He paused and looked around him. His body shook. He tried to steady himself, but couldn't. Anger burned within him and it wouldn't be subsided until they caught the one who did this to Ed.

"Riza, we're not going to let the bastard who did this get away."


	9. Chapter Nine: Offer

Disclaimer: I don't own FullMetal Alchemist

Lady Monozuki: I meant to get this up yesterday; there are excuses, but none you want to hear. I'd like to thank Orange Singer for reviewing! Without further ado, here's the next chapter. Oh, this is about two weeks after they brought Ed to the hospital.

_Chapter Nine: Offer_

He tapped his pen hard against the desk. They wasted two weeks trying to arrange their information into different classes. False reports and sightings took up a large file on his desk. Actual progress made on the case sat in a corner. The police supplied him with the information, but they didn't even seem to be looking into the case. He began to wonder if they even cared about the case at all. He picked up a troubling piece of paper from his desk and began to read the words once again. The hidden meaning behind what they wrote came through without him needing to decipher their wording. They considered finding Ed's attacker to be a waste of their time and resources. In fact, if he wasn't the one in charge, they'd give up all together. He crumpled their letter and snapped his right hand.

"Sir, I told you not to burn things on your desk."

Roy looked up to see Hawkeye with a stack of papers in her hands. He glowered at their unwelcomed sight. His right hand twitched.

"Don't think of taking your frustrations out on these papers. There are other duties that you must fulfill as a Colonel. Plus, I guarantee that Ed's case will still be waiting for you. I doubt that the investigation is going well."

"They're not even trying!"

She put the papers on the desk. "We can't do anything about them, sir. All we can do is focus on our work. We'll figure out what happened to Ed soon enough."

"Riza, he's been unconscious for two weeks. He's not waking up any time soon. Even if he does, there's no way he's going to be able to talk. You heard the doctor. We won't be able to get the answers right away."

"That is why we need to be patient with his recovery, sir. If we fall behind with our desk work, then when he is awake, we won't be able to talk to him or commit any extra resources needed to continue on with the investigation."

"You make me feel like an ass, I hope you know that."

"Yes sir, I do. Now do something about those papers before the end of the day."

He looked up at her. A smile tugged at her lips. They both knew that she won the argument. Without another protest, he picked up the sheet of paper and began to read. His mind switched into "I-don't-give-a-damn-what-this-says" mode as he did. After coming across his own name on the page, he focused his attention to the words written.

_A problem with Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, is developing. He is late with all of his paper work and his handwriting is illegible at times. Most of the papers the office mails him are sent back, but the same results are yielded. This is worsened in light of an attack on one of his subordinates. Regardless of his reasoning or excuse, probationary acts should be enforced. He will lose rights to obtain investigation progress and may even be moved if he does not show improvement. On the other hand, keep an eye out._

"Hawkeye," he said to the figure headed toward the doorway. "What the hell is this?"

"Sir, that's minutes from the last meeting among the Generals. If you think that your casual behavior slipped their notice, consider otherwise."

"Is this supposed to be motivation for me to get my work done?"

"No, I wanted to inform you of the situation. After all, you like to be informed when it boils down to the top dogs."

He thought about biting off her head for a moment. But then he read the last sentence at the bottom one more time. They said to keep an eye out for him. Why would they do that? He knew that most of the higher ranking Generals disapproved of him, but that didn't make sense.

_Are they worried about my side investigation of Ed? Why would that concern them of above the other numerous issues going on right now? No, there's more going on here than I know. In a way this is a subtle message. They don't want me to look too close at what happened. Even though there isn't anything to be scared of on their part, they don't want me poking my nose where it doesn't belong. There's more and I intend to find out all of the details._

They were missing something, that much made itself clearer with every passing day. Whatever the officials wanted to keep hidden might be the missing key to Ed's case. Roy knew that gambling on that hunch was reckless. But everything in his body told him to pursue that course. However, enemies lurked and waited to ensnare the unfortunate person that dared to wander in that direction. The holes in the case seemed to be gaping and impossible to overcome. He placed a neat signature at the bottom of the last paper before allowing his mind to mill over the numerous plausible outcomes of this single event.

The last thing he wanted to do was tell Ed that they couldn't find the one responsible for the attack. He clenched his fist. No, he refused to do that. After the several years of enduring similar pain, he didn't want the same for the teen. Even at such a young age, the alchemist already underwent enough suffering; He didn't need to add to that feeling. Plus he already bore several reminders of their attempt from years ago. The fewer obstacles in their path, the more they could focus on their goal.

Roy stood and stretched his tired muscles. Tonight he decided to visit Ed. Though every time he went there all he could reminisce about was his past. One thought in particular stuck out in his mind: "Did I look that pathetic too?" And when that question surfaces, he recalled Havoc reprimanding him for confusing their lives. He grabbed his coat and headed for the exit. A sharp knock on the made him stop. For a moment, he contemplated ignoring the person.

"Colonel, I know you're in there," he heard. He thought about who the voice belonged to.

"General Firmin," he said.

"Ah, so you didn't get die at your desk."

"Let yourself in, General."

The door swung open. The tall officer walked in. Roy took notice of the tired features the decorated General expressed. A small smile tugged at Firmin's lips. Roy waited for a moment before speaking.

"I wonder why you decided to pay a visit to me at this late hour, sir."

"I wanted to confront you about one of your subordinates."

"Oh?"

"A fellow by the name of Kain Fuery to be precise, he often does reports and technical analysis' for me."

"What seems to be the problem?"

"He seems…nervous whenever I'm around. I wanted to inform you."

The General walked over to one of Roy's bookshelves while Roy debated as to whether or not to tell him about the incident a few weeks prior. Under normal circumstances, a higher ranking officer wouldn't bother to check in on people not under their command. In the military, everyone stood for himself unless their commanding officer stepped in. Furey must have scared Firmin enough to cause this visit.

He spoke after a brief silence. "I suppose there's no hiding that fact. Mast Sergeant Furey saw blood on your uniform a couple of week ago. Plus he overheard the conversation that took place then. He said you sounded angry that the Fuher decided to join in the search party for FullMetal."

The General frowned. "I recall that day. I went out to help look for the FullMetal Alchemist. However, we ran into an anti-military group. They attacked us and one of them tried to knife me. The Furher joined so that no one would question his superiority over us. I got angry because I took that as a personal reflection of my run."

"I'll be sure to explain the situation to Fuery then."

"Appreciated Colonel. I also came here for another issue."

Roy raised his brows. "What about?"

"I heard all of the details on the FullMetal Alchemist. I wanted to offer my help. As you know, I pull a lot of strings in that area."

"They want to give up on the case," Roy muttered.

"So I heard, that's why I came here. I'm sure that hearing news like that is frustrating for you to deal with. Most of the higher ups are concerned for the prodigy. We will get to the bottom of the case. So please entrust him into my care. The military needs you in other areas.

Roy blinked in surprise. He didn't expect Firmin to offer help of that nature. He pegged the General as one not to care about such matters. But then again, he did come here on behalf of Fuery. Plus, with those extra connections, they might be able to make a breakthrough on the case.

"I want a copy of all reports," Roy said.

"You'll get them."

He nodded. "Thank you, General."

"You're welcome, I hope this to be a favor."

"No questions asked, sir."

The two men shook hands. Roy saluted. Firmin walked out of his office without another word. The Colonel shrugged on his coat before leaving as well. While walking out of the building, he wondered what the General meant by the military needing him in other places. He hadn't been anywhere but behind a desk since coming home from Ishbal.

_What did he mean?_

Pondering the thought required all of his energy. He didn't even notice his surroundings or direction until he found himself in front of a desk. A nurse walked over to him. He told her his name, rank, and the person he wanted to visit before she even asked a question. He walked to Ed's room and pulled open the door.

No matter how many times he came to visit Ed, the shock never wore off. To see such a free spirit like Ed crushed made him shiver. The teen bounded with energy and an aura that radiated his confidence and self-dependence. To see him living with the aid of other people served as a reminder that even people who seemed untouchable could fall. With all of the thoughts rolling through his mind, he almost missed the visible sign of consciousness. The fingers on the teen's hand started to twitch. Roy looked at the arrogant alchemist to see if he woke up.

Dull orbs stared at the ceiling, no expression or life filled them. Roy took in a deep breath. The doctors said that he could wake up at any given moment.

"Ed," Roy said.

No physical response came. The teen seemed to be dazed and struggling to come to grips with reality.

"Ed," he repeated.

A finger twitched this time. Roy took that as a good sign. At least he recognized him in some way.

"Ed, do you know who's speaking to you? Blink once if you can."

For a moment, nothing happened. He began to wonder if the teen heard him. But then, the eyes drooped before opening again. A sudden panic seemed to wash over the teen. Roy waited for him to calm down, but that didn't happen. He ran out of the room to get a doctor, Ed needed to get out of that state before his heart stopped. The doctor warned them that if they saw a seizure last for more than thirty seconds, to give them a call. At this moment, Ed hung in a very delicate balance that would decide whether he lived or not.

Thankfully as he bolted out the door, he ran into one of the nurses. They returned to the room not too long afterward with the help that Ed needed. Roy watched in silence as they tried to get the teen to relax. Nothing seemed to be working. The noise faded as they say the teen suddenly stopped moving. Panic began to settle in as they realized that this could be the end.

The evening had just begun.


	10. Chapter Ten: Unforgotten

**Disclaimer: I don't own FullMetal Alchemist. I know what a shock.**

Lady Monozuki: Well, here's the next chapter. I decided to put when I expect updates to be post in my profile. So if you're curious, just click and you'll see. Thank you Orange Singer, Kev the She-Wolf, and VampireGaaraCheesepuffs for reviewing! This is dedicated to you three. Please continue to review!

_Chapter Ten: Unforgotten_

Seeing Ed fighting for life was an experience that he would never forget. Every breath became strained, a look helplessness washed over the teen's face and above all the emotions that filled the room, resignation. The free-spirited teen didn't care if he lived or died. To be driven to that point, the torture he endured couldn't be anything short of traumatizing. Whoever planned this assault intended to break him both physically and mentally. From what Roy saw a few short hours ago, the attacker succeeded. The fact that Edward Elric, the cockiest brat he knew, wore that expression convinced him of one fact: the strength that motivated the young alchemist no longer existed.

He glanced once more at the sleeping teen. The doctors managed to bring him back after his heart stopped twice. But because of that, they didn't want him to be alone for the next forty-eight hours. A nurse sat in the chair across from him. She checked Ed's pulse once every ten minutes to be sure that his heart beat at a steady pace. They noticed some irregularity at first so they decided to check his pulse at five minutes. Now that his condition stabilized some, they didn't need to worry so much. Still though, Roy couldn't help but relive that moment. Everything seemed to be fine at first. The doctors said that due to heavy shock and sudden strain, he went into a seizure and "died" for about three minutes before revival.

_Whatever those bastards did to FullMetal caused enough to damage to him emotionally to shut down. He seemed surprised to even be alive and to see me. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't have acted that way. Ed…what the hell did they do to you?_

--

_I'm alive? Why am I alive? I thought for sure that they gave up on me. After all, they told me so. So why is Mustang here? He doesn't even care about what I do as long as I don't cause trouble or blow up anything. Nothing makes sense anymore. Why did he show up? I'm not worth saving. I should've died the night _they_ got rid of me. Why am I still alive? Does Mustang want to keep alive for his own sick reasons? I'm worthless. I ruin everything…that's why my brother is in a time bomb…and why I'm not complete anymore. There's no reason as to why I'm here. There's no reason as to why they're trying to save me. I'm excess garbage. When they get tired of cleaning up after me, they'll throw me out, I know they will._

_So then why is he here? Why is he the first person to help me after what happened? He doesn't care…he just wants information out of me. Once he knows the truth, he'll change. They will all end up leaving me eventually. I'm pathetic and useless. Why am I still here?_

--

"There's a reason why he's not waking up. Because of that reason, he's much more content to be unconscious. Perhaps he doesn't want to come to face with what happened during his disappearance. Whenever a person is subject to rape and verbal abuse, they are defeated in more ways than one. The rape is to overpower the person and make them realize that they can't fight against the power. Verbal abuse is used to make the victim feel alone in the world. In this case, I believe that Mr. Elric wanted to die but you saved him. Therefore being alive is a shock and that's what caused his seizure. If we're not careful, he could go into a relapse worse than before. The strain on his heart would be too much and we won't be able to revive him again," the doctor recited.

"If FullMetal is resigned and gave up on living, then wouldn't being conscious be enough to send him back into that mode?" Roy inquired.

"Not if we're careful. From what you told me, he seemed fine for a moment and then surprised at two things, the first being that he was indeed alive and the second being that he saw your face. Somehow, I get the feeling that his attacker told him something about you and he believed every word. I'm going to say that you aren't the only one as well. Does Mr. Elric have any family members?"

"A younger brother, why do you ask?"

"I don't recommend bringing him to see his brother right now. If I'm correct about Mr. Elric's state of health, then a visit would do more harm than good."

"What are you saying?" Roy asked. He didn't understand the entire meaning behind the doctor's words.

The doctor sighed as if he couldn't explain the meaning any simpler. "I'm saying that the reason Mr. Elric went into shock is because he didn't expect you to be there, let alone be alive. If we get him to accept his own existence then we can add in people. But until then, I'm going to forbid anyone from visiting him unless he is sedated. If he woke up with any of you present, then I'm not sure what will happen."

"What about the investigation? General Firmin is anxious to talk to FullMetal."

The doctor shook his head. "I don't want to risk sending him into that degree of shock again. Until we can be sure that he is stabilized enough there is to be no questioning. I understand that you are all concerned about Mr. Elric's well being, but believe me when I say that this will be for the better. If there are any major improvements in his condition, you will be the first that I notify."

Roy and his subordinates nodded in understanding. They didn't agree with what the doctor said but that didn't merit breaking any of the rules.

"Hey, I thought that being around familiar faces was the best cure for patients with mental problems," Havoc said once the doctor left the room.

"Not in Ed's case," Riza replied. "In case you didn't listen, being around us is not good for his mental health. We can assume that his attacker told Ed that we didn't care about him. Perhaps that's why he seemed so shocked to find Mustang there."

"Shit, they screwed him up big time," Havoc muttered.

Silence met his words. No one needed to voice their agreement. Everyone knew that Ed's recovery would be long and tedious. However, this is one set-back that they did not anticipate. If they topped that off with the chance of him being suicidal, everything seemed to be stacked against them in this case. Not to mention that General Firmin hadn't uncovered any major clues since Roy handed the case over to him. Right now, their world seemed to be on stand-by. A sigh escaped his lips. He hated being in this situation.

"Since we're not allowed to bother FullMetal, let's go back to the office and get some work done. I'm sure that we all have reports that need to be typed and handed in before the end of the day. Be sure to keep your eyes and ears open in the office. We want to make sure that nothing slips past us."

No one questioned his orders. They all made motion to follow them. He walked out of the room ahead of everyone else. Working would help him to stop thinking about FullMetal. He climbed into the car that Havoc drove. No one needed to say anything to express the one person on their mind. Roy wanted to laugh at how a hot-headed teenager impacted their lives to a point where they could barely concentrate on their work. Most of them went on missions far more dangerous than this and came back without any concern. But this case had everyone questioning. The more they looked at the case, the less the details made sense. Why would the kidnapper chose Ed in the first place?

The obvious came to mind, because of the teen's height and frail looking figure. But even still, they took him from his apartment. That meant that they wanted Ed for a particular reason. Did they rape and abuse him for the sake of breaking his mind? Or did they want to achieve some other goal. If that turned out to be the case, then what else could they want to do? And why did they send him a letter?

_They knew Ed and his routines. I'm also sure that they knew about his illness as well. Plus they knew that I was in charge of him. So that means anyone in the military with the ranking of Major or higher could access his files. I'm also going to make the assumption that since they knew of his illness, that he met with someone beforehand. So that means Riza and Havoc could come under suspicion because of their rank. And I know that Edward visited Hawkeye on the day he disappeared. But did he do something before coming to turn in his report? Did he talk to someone else?_

"Sir," he heard.

He blinked and looked up. Riza's eyes met his. Then he looked out to see Military Headquarters. He didn't remember them arriving. With a sigh, he stepped out of the vehicle and headed for his office. Upon arriving, his phone rang. He walked over to his desk before answering.

"Central Headquarters, this is Colonel Mustang speaking."

No answer came at first. He considered hanging up for a moment but he didn't.

"Mustang...," a low voice growled.

Roy froze. He recognized the voice.

"I'm so glad to hear that you're still alive…tell me, did you recover from _that_ incident?"

His body began to tremble. Pain covered every inch of his body. Someone walked closer to him, but he couldn't move. Cords bound his ankles and wrists. He blinked. No, that didn't happen. His hand still held on to the phone.

_What the hell just happened?_

"You worthless little shit!" he heard, though he could tell if that came from the phone or his head.

He realized now that his breathing started to be erratic. The voice continued on, not waiting for him to reply.

"I hope that you enjoyed your time to recover. I'm going to make you suffer again."

Nausea washed over him. He dropped the phone and went over to grab a glass of water. The cool liquid ran down his throat but that didn't satisfy him. His body began to shake at the phone call. Even after all of these years, that voice still haunted him.

"_No one wants you. You're useless and pathetic. No one is looking for you anymore."_

The glass slipped from his shaking hand and soon he did as well.

--

Softened footsteps brought him out of the darkness. He snapped open his eyes to see two faces, one belonging to Riza and the other to Havoc. He frowned. Why were they in his office? Then he remembered the phone call. His stomach churned. Hearing that voice again made him feel weak and queasy.

"Sir, are you all right?" Riza asked.

He wanted to say something but his voice caught in his throat. What could he say? Lying would be a bad idea, Riza would know the truth. The words that had died on his tongue earlier came through.

"I-I got a phone call."

Havoc furrowed his brows, as if trying to understand how talking on the phone could make someone pass out. Riza kept her usual stoic face on.

"What else happened?"

"I recognized the voice…."

"Sir, you're going to need to elaborate."

"My kidnapper called," he whispered.

Realization flickered on their face for a brief moment. Then concern took over their features.

"How do you know, sir?"

Roy curled his fist. "I'll never forget that voice."

"What did they say?"

"That he's going to make me suffer again."

He closed his eyes and tried to forget those words but they kept coming back. Those simple words put him in a panic. Now he didn't know what to do. He could feel his heart quickening at the thought of being back in that dark room. His scars burned.

Riza scowled. "There's no way that they're going to be able to get to you now, sir."

His breathing started to become shaky.

"That's what we thought about Ed. No one could touch him, but they somehow managed to get him and look at his condition now!"

_Every time he struggled against the rope, the more his flesh became agitated. The burning sensation never died away. After a few days, even the slightest movement sent pain coursing through his wrists._

"Roy!" she snapped.

He stopped and realized that he almost went into a relapse of his previous years. He didn't speak to try and calm down and level his breathing. His heart thudded against his chest.

"Riza," he began. "What the hell is happening?"

"I don't know, sir."

He closed his eyes before standing up. Havoc seemed ready to catch him if he showed signs of passing out again. But Roy managed to walk over to his desk without any problems. His mind started going through the possibilities again. His kidnapper intended to rattle his nerves. But why? He didn't know anything new in regards to what happened seventeen years ago.

_Maybe we did learn something and he's trying to keep me from looking too deep into certain events going on. But the timing of the call doesn't make sense. If he wanted me to stop investigating, then why didn't he call a few weeks ago? Why wait until now?_

"We're missing something," he whispered.

--

I know the chapter is a little strange, but bear with me! Everything will start to make sense soon (at least that's the plan).


	11. Chapter Eleven: Direction

**Dislclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist**

Lady Monozuki: A big thank you to Orange Singer and wishfulliving89 for reviewing. I hope that you all will continue to read/review! I know that this chapter is short, but I decided to cut it off here.

_Chapter Eleven: Direction_

His eyes snapped open for the third time that night. His mind drifted back to the previous day, the source of his inability to sleep. The phone call made him realize two things: his vulnerability and his lack of recovery. No place in Central could be considered safe anymore. Military headquarters didn't bring him the same sense of security as it had before. Roy sat up and glanced at the window. He wanted to walk over there and stick his head out into the cool night, to try and cool himself down. But he was afraid of what could happen if he even stepped outside.

Ever since hearing that voice, he didn't want to return to his office. Hawkeye understood but made him agree to do some work at home during his leave. He gave her the benefit of the doubt, knowing that if he refused, she would make him come in. A shiver ran down his spine. He _hated_ being in this situation.

"Damn it all," he muttered.

_I thought I got over this feeling years ago. Now I feel like a coward for confining myself in here. I'm no safer here than I am at the office. What the hell is wrong with me?_

Roy curled his fist and left out a growl. He hated being effected by something that took place so long ago. He rubbed his eyes. Even though his body begged for sleep, his mind continued to race on. Part of him wanted to forget that this even happened, but he knew that he couldn't let go. A hand traced over the scars on his wrist again. Even after seventeen years, he could still feel the rope against his wrists, biting and cutting deeper with each pull. Hands roamed all over his body, reminding him that he couldn't prevent anything from happening. The whip bit deep into his flesh and stung, leaving behind marks and stinging pain.

In that one incident, he lost everything. His family abandoned him, his friends drifted further away, and the carefree lifestyle he knew before disappeared. Mistrust and paranoia became his first feelings when meeting people. That's why he kept everything a secret…that's why he vowed to never expose his weaknesses again. A soft chuckle escaped his lips. He had failed. His kidnapper knew where he was and could come at any moment. His unrest would seem natural to anyone. But he detested his behavior.

_Heh, there are two sides of me. A part of me is scared of what will happen to me and the other is determined not to be like this ever again. What a contradictory person I am._

He realized that now he stood at a crossroad. Two clear directions lay before him. He always knew that a choice needed to be made years ago. He never thought that a situation would arise that called him to do so. But right now, he could continue to live in fear or he could move on and find the bastards who destroyed Ed's spirit.

The choice seemed obvious in his mind…but he didn't want to take that road. Something kept him rooted in place, afraid to move on. His mind went back to that night when he found Ed. The teen reminded him too much of himself. The ordeal that he went through several years ago kept him from moving forward. His body shook.

_The choice is clear. So why, why am I afraid to move on from this point? I built myself up from a point where most people would give up all together. But I can't get past this point. I don't know why that now I'm having trouble deciding where I stand. I always put other before me. I made that a part of my personal goal. When my parents left me, I decided to never let another person down. No…I let Ed down. I couldn't prevent the misfortunes of life from befalling him. Even though I strived to protect them, I failed. _

_Because of my weakness, I couldn't help him…. _

The words sounded strange, even in his mind. Why did that thought seem unfamiliar and distant? He frowned and tried to think of why. He knew that being with everyone of his subordinates was impossible. Going out of his way to protect them seemed like the logical solution. But even still, the teen disappeared from underneath him and ended up like _him_. _No, that's not the real reason._

He sighed. That one word held all the source of his troubles. All _he_ was concerned about was himself. He didn't stop to think about _Ed's_ situation. That alone was the difference. His subordinates understood and could separate their own emotional problems in order to be there for others. Being supportive physically wasn't the only thing that people needed. They needed the emotional support as well, something he couldn't offer.

_Because of my weakness I _can't_ help him. I'm caught up in my past. I see this as my personal hell, not his. He's the one in the hospital bed fighting for his life and I'm…stuck. I can't get past this because I am afraid. I'm scared that if I solve this mystery, there won't be anything left to drive me. The problem isn't my past._

_I'm standing the way of my own future._

Roy picked up his military jacket and walked out of his room. His mind continued to focus on his previous thoughts while his body acted on its own accord. Right now he needed to visit two places. One was the alleyway where he found Ed and the other was the hospital. He opened the door. The darkness that shrouded his vision made him hesitate. He stepped outside and headed down the road.

_This is the path that I'm going to choose._


	12. Chapter Twelve: Reality

**Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist.**

Lady Monozuki: I would like to say big thank you to Orange Singer and wishfulliving89 for reviewing! Enjoy this chapter, it's dedicated to you two. There is a little more action and some Ed in here (since you all seem deprived of those two things).

_Chapter Twelve: Reality_

His eyes fluttered for a moment, white assaulted his eyes. His mind associated the feeling with death. No pain troubled him and the blinding color did not do any favors. Before he even could contemplate the probability of his death, new sensations started to return. His fingers twitched, absorbing the coarse feeling of linens underneath. His body seemed to sink deeper into the bed supporting him. Fatigue willed him to close his eyes and return to unconsciousness. In the distant, he could hear the rush of footsteps. He commanded his body to turn in the direction of the commotion but to no avail. Another futile attempt discouraged him from doing so again. After resigning, he tried to sort out numerous things.

_Where am I? Why can I not move? And how did I end up here in the first place? _

A hand came into view. The actions startled him. An insult would have slid off his lips but he couldn't move his jaw. The person walked into his straight line of vision. A white overcoat did little to cover the green outfit beneath. Ed wanted to let out a loud groan. He pushed the thoughts aside. He chose to glower, hoping that his look would communicate his disdain for hospitals. Instead, the person ignored him and wrote down a few items on a piece of paper.

"How do you feel today, Mr. Elric?" the doctor asked.

The voice sounded sluggish in his ears. His mind tried to process the information, and how to voice his response.

"I understand that speaking is difficult for you. So, blink once if you are in any pain. Blink twice if you feel all right."

He closed his eyes but struggled to open them again. Confusion gnawed at his mind instead of pain. Several unanswered questions filled the rest of his thoughts. His memory seemed clouded, unable to comprehend all that occurred. He blinked twice and waited for the doctor to say something else.

_Better yet, what did occur? There's a reason why I'm here; I know that. However, I don't want to remember. However, that does not make sense. Why would I not want to remember what happened? Argh, I feel like I know the answer._

"That's good to hear. I am sure that you are confused, but I can't tell you much about the events that went on. What I can tell you is that you are in the hospital with serious injuries. I want to assure you that you are in the best care, and that the answers will come soon. I want you to focus on your physical recovery for the time being. Once you are feeling better, we'll talk about the events."

The words took longer to process. He felt angry at the fact that it took him longer to understand the words that the doctor spoke. Ed wished he could speak and demand answers to the questions he wanted to know. However, his body did not respond in the way he wanted to. The doctor glanced at his watch and frowned.

"Crud, I'm not supposed to be here. I'm needed in surgery," he muttered.

His heart started to pound loudly. He tried to take a deep breath but nothing came. The seconds seemed to tick by. After several long moments, the doctor noticed his distressed and called in others to help. Ed ignored their talking and focused on trying to get air as soon as possible. The chatter disappeared into the background. Black veiled his vision. He blinked to try and keep himself aware, but that didn't last long. The muscles in his chest tightened, causing him pain.

Then the pain stopped. He could breathe with ease and his vision returned to normal. His body trembled.

"Looks like he's in the clear for now," a voice shouted.

"Keep an eye on him; we don't know when he'll go into another relapse."

"Sir, did you say anything to him?

"All I mentioned is…. Oh shit," the doctor from earlier muttered.

_I'm not supposed to be here. I am not supposed to be alive. I should be dead. There is no one here who cares about me. They are all trying to use me for their own gain. I was never more than a tool in their eyes._

"What the hell is going on here?" a new voice demanded.

"C-Colonel Mustang, I thought I said that no one is allowed to visit him."

"What difference does it make as to whether or not I'm here; he doesn't seem to be doing any better without me."

Ed glanced sideways and caught sight of the Flame Alchemist. His mind tried to think of all the reasons why _he _came to visit. He felt his chest muscles tightening again, cutting off his breathing for a brief moment.

"Ed!" barked Mustang. "I don't know all that's going through your head, but we're still here for you."

_What the hell is that supposed to mean? You don't care about me, you bastard._

The glance he shot must have communicated his exact thoughts because Mustang chuckled a little before responding.

"I mean every word that I say. I'm waiting for you, along with everyone else. I don't care what they told you, you're wanted."

_That's supposed to make me feel better? I—I'm worthless. There is no reason as to my existence; I'm not supposed to be here!_

The pain intensified. His vision started to go dark. The world around him faded away.

--

Mustang paced his office once again. After visiting Ed last night, he wondered if he even helped the teen. Ed had fallen back unconscious after his last statement, causing him to worry.

_The look on his face made it clear that he did not believe anything that I said. He's still having trouble accepting the fact that people want him. Plus Al is on his way to Central with that mechanic chick. If the go visit him, there's no telling how far that will push him over the edge. Seeing me again didn't do anything to help him so I don't think that his brother will make any dent on his mental state. Then again, this is all my speculation. Even still, I don't know whether sending them to see Ed is a good idea right now._

A soft knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He walked over and opened the door. A slender woman offered him a blue folder, which he took without question. He recognized the person as General Firmin's personal secretary. After handing over the case to the General, he received updates every three days. Today was one of those days. With the report in hand, he walked over toward his desk and took a seat. He opened the folder and began to read. The investigation turned up a couple more clues, but nothing that could point in the direction of Ed's attacker.

After revisiting Ed's apartment, they found a shredded business card and they were trying to piece together where that came from. Roy frowned, when the police searched the area, they didn't find anything of the sort. Then they also found an article of clothing belonging to the kidnapper. That also didn't show up in the initial search.

_Did the police not care when going through or did this evidence show up later? Is someone trying to plant a false trail? Or did we miss those at the beginning because of our panic? Something isn't right here._

He closed his eyes and remembered Hughes talking to him about a tough case he was working on. A smirk came across his face.

"_Do you see this, Roy?" Hughes asked._

"_Yeah, that's the photo taken on the first day we were called out there."_

"_Now take a look at this one."_

_He produced an identical picture, except something caught his eye._

"_There's a piece of silver or something that gives off that sort of gleam in the corner."_

"_Right, that wasn't there when we first arrived. The only people allowed near that crime are my men, but they are not dumb enough to go trampling through the area. I don't think that we miss that the first time either."_

"_So you're implying that someone else went back later to place evidence there for you to find."_

"_Exactly!" Hughes exclaimed._

"_Wait, you said yourself that no one but your men are allowed near there. So how could they have done so without being noticed?"_

"_My guess is that they were known to military personal. That or they had the right rankings."_

"_You think that the brass is involved with this plot?"_

"_I never said anything about a plot, Roy. Besides, what good would it do me to make wild guesses like that? But do you get what I'm trying to say?"_

_He blinked. "No."_

"_I'm saying that you-need-to-get-a-wife!"_

_Roy growled before picking up the nearest book. Hughes raised a hand over his head._

"_Hey! I'm kidding! My point is that you need to look at all of the angles and don't be afraid to question even those above you. I know that's hard for you to do at times because of your career choice. Anyway, keep your eyes peeled and remember that you can't trust people."_

"_I can trust you."_

He remembered that conversation took place a few weeks before Hughes died. After finishing reading the report, he walked out of the office. He muttered a quiet voice that he would be going out. His feet took him toward Ed's apartment. He found the place unguarded and easy to enter. No one even locked the place, which made the possibility of someone planting evidence even more likely. He walked inside and turned on the first light.

He expected the place to be in shambles, but aside from the obvious struggle points, the place seemed clean. Then he remembered that until recently, Al lived with him. That explained the cleanliness. Roy looked on the couch and then at the table. Three alchemy books rested on the top, which didn't surprise him. Nothing out of the ordinary struck him.

He went into the back room. Broken glass still covered certain areas of the ground, but the pieces looked shifted. He supposed that could've come from one reckless investigator, but that didn't seem likely. The kidnappers wouldn't have gone through the window once they captured Ed. No, walking out the front door seemed a more plausible scenario.

Nothing in the room struck him odd so he decided to leave. Before he could do so, loud voices made him freeze. He furrowed his brows.

_Why is _he_ here?_

"Sir, I don't see how revisiting the scene will help us identify the kidnapper. There is nothing left in there."

"You idiot, how many times do I have to tell you. We're not here to _find_ evidence. We're here to plant some more. We need to make sure that Colonel Mustang thinks that we are getting someone in this case for a reason."

"I don't understand, General."

"Shut up, your job is not to understand. Your job is to obey _my_ orders. Hey, did you leave the light on?"

"No, I made sure that everything was off last time."

"Strange, there are footprints here as well."

_Shit, they're going to find me if I stay here. I can't move without being discovered. If I try to get to the window, they'll hear the glass crunching beneath my feet. However, that window is my best bet at the moment. All I can do is hope that something else distracts them._

He crouched down and started make his way toward the window.

"General, the footprints lead toward the back room."

"Draw your gun; we don't want to be caught off-guard."

He heard the cocking of the gun and two people approaching. Even if he ran, he wouldn't be able to move fast enough to get out of there. Instead, he straightened up to make him look less guilty. General Firmin and a subordinate rounded the corner. Both of them held pistols in their hands. The official smirked but didn't lower his weapon.

"Colonel, what are you doing outside of your office?"

"I could ask you the same question, sir."

General Firmin stepped in front of him; forcing him to look up at his superior officer.

"How long have you been in this room?"

"What difference does it make, _sir_?"

"Answer the question, Colonel."

"I was here long enough to hear some information that I'm quite intrigued to hear an explanation for."

"You want to know I'm planting evidence at FullMetal's place."

"That and why you me to think that you are getting somewhere in the case. Is it not to harass you for some reason? Or perhaps you don't want me to look closely at you for some reason?"

He saw a flash of metal before he realized what happened. The stinging of his cheek began to increase.

"Striking a subordinate, that's not going to look good on your record," Roy taunted.

The general took that to strike him again. He could feel warm droplets falling on to his uniform.

"They won't lift a finger against me, Colonel. I could kill you and get away with it."

Roy frowned and tried to read the man's emotions. "But you won't."

"Don't taunt me, Colonel. Know your place in the military and don't ever forget where you stand."

He noticed that the subordinate that came with the general seemed ready to spring into action when needed. Right now, he didn't need trouble. However, curiosity was always his pitfall.

"Answer my questions, that's all I ask."

"I'm not entitled to answer anything. Now, I suggest you get out of here."

The general pointed the gun at him and waited for him to move toward the window. He couldn't resist one last jib.

"I thought we were on the same side, General."

"This is reality Mustang, you have no allies."

A shot rang in the air.


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Trapped

**Disclaimer: I do not own, FullMetal Alchemist.**

Lady Monozuki: Thank you wishfulliving89, Orange Singer, and blood-stained-rag-doll for reviewing! I apologize for the lateness (and shortness) of the chapter. There are excuses, but why waste your time listing them all?

_Chapter Thirteen: Trapped_

Their voices echoed in his mind. He knew that they were there but he couldn't reach out to them or speak to let them know of his existence. The words that he wanted to say faded from his thoughts. He struggled to even remember their importance, but couldn't. He heard them talking about _him._

"How do you think he'll react when he is fully conscious again?"

"Not well, the last two times didn't go well. The doctors said that keeping us away from him won't make a difference. In the end this is mental battle for him."

"We all know that the kid's tough."

"Things aren't that easy, Havoc. Physical recovery in comparison to mental are two very different matters. We can't expect him to be the same as before."

Silence stretched between the two of them.

Even if he recovered, he would not be the same. He knew that already. The same spirit he showed before _that _happened would never exist again. They did not know what happened, and he couldn't tell them the truth. His mind brought up images of the dark room. The harsh beating of a whip, butting deep into his skin made him dizzy and nauseous. He wanted to forget the details but they continued to attack his mind. Then the voice told him that they did not care.

"I know that he won't be the same, but that doesn't mean I can't pretend that we'll have him back."

"I believe that he can pull through."

_Why do you believe that? I don't even think that I can._

Even though he was safe from harm, his body and mind could not forget what happened. A new voice joined their conversation. He recognized the voice; his mind screamed and told him to get away. His body didn't cooperate though. Mentally, he cursed drugs for making him sluggish. His chest squeezed tight as his vision started to darken. The person continued to talk. He wanted to shout a warning and let the others know about that person.

--

Icy water sprayed over his body, bringing him out of unconsciousness. He groaned at the biting cold that lingered, causing him to shiver. He opened his eyes. Three unfamiliar men stood around him. He blinked and then tried to piece together the events that happened. He remembered going to Ed's apartment. Then General Firmin showed up. His body ached, reminding him of the result of that encounter.

_How did I end up here again?_

He rubbed his aching temples and pieced together the event. General Firmin fired the gun and he managed to escape with a graze on his shoulder. Before they could fire another round, he jumped out of the window and sprinted in a random direction. However, the General didn't intend to let him go. He found himself captured after making a wrong turn and falling into the hands of a dozen trained shooters. What bugged him the most was _why_ the offcial wanted him. Eventually his subordinates would start looking for him. Capturing him at this time wasn't a good idea. He would tell everyone he knew about the General's false evidence.

_No, he's not careless enough to make that mistake. There is more to why he captured me. I don't know what he is planning, but I'm sure that this will not end well. I need to find more information while I'm here. _

"Are you awake yet?" he heard.

He nodded, deciding that keeping silent would be a better solution. The people towering over him seemed satisfied with his response.

"Good, because there's someone who wants to see you," the same voice said.

They chuckled before someone else spoke. "Yeah, he says that the two of you go _way_ back."

Roy frowned. He wanted to know the meaning behind their words. General Firmin stepped out earlier; he knew that because two of the guards were talking the offcial about visiting someone. He felt a tug on his shackles, indicating for him to stand up. He disliked them dragging him around without any indication as to their direction. They expected him to know the way, which he didn't.

_They just want and excuse to insult me because they can't strike me. Which means that they're all lower-ranking officers and that the General can't protect them from being reprimanded or court marshaled if they do so. That leads me to believe that they are not under his command. So why would he use them if that is the case? If I knew their names, I could look their files up when I get out of here. Even still, that doesn't make sense. General Firmin holds a lot of influence in the military; he should be able to ride off any investigations in regards to this._

_There is more that I'm missing. He doesn't want them to strike me for a reason. Instead they are reduced to insults, why? Maybe I am reading too much into this situation. No, I get the feeling that I am not going to enjoy this meeting with someone from my past._

He felt a tug on the shackles and he realized that they wanted him to move forward. He blinked and saw a door in front of him. After taking a deep breath in, he pushed open the door. Darkness consumed the room in front of him. One of the people behind him pushed him in before shutting him in. His heart began to pound. Being in a dark room and shackled did not appeal to him in any way. He waited for any indication of someone else in this room. He was afraid to step further in the darkness.

A soft chuckle echoed in the room. He tried to locate the source.

"Seventeen years is a long time; don't you agree, Mustang?" he heard.

A shiver racked his body. His mind flashed back to several memories, overloading him and preventing him from moving. The echoing of footsteps didn't help either. He found himself rooted in place, unable to move. A cold hand touched his cheek.

"You haven't changed much since then, Mustang," the voice whispered.

The distinct gruffness in the man's voice instilled fear and dread.

_No, I said that this wouldn't bother me anymore. I said that I would move past this point. But I can't._

"One thing that you are lacking though is your spirit. When I first took you, you fought back with everything you could muster. What's the matter, Mustang? What happened to you?"

"Damn you," Roy spat. "What the hell do you want with me? Didn't you ruin my life enough back then?"

The hand pulled back. Another chuckle came from the person.

"I suppose I did torture you plenty back then. However, this isn't about satisfying my needs this time. I'm here to keep you from sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. Though, I suppose that I will enjoy doing this to you _again_."

Roy wished that he could reach for the chalk in his coat pocket. Since they dumped water on him, even if he somehow managed to put on his gloves, he would be useless. With the chalk, he could draw the transmutation circle.

"I won't let you get away with this," Roy vowed.

"Oh, I guess that I was wrong. There is some fighting spirit left in you. This will be fun," the person cackled.

A hand grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a rough kiss.


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Familiarity

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

Lady Monozuki: Normally, I don't care about reviews. However, last chapter I only got one; which kind of made me feel like I let you guys down with my writing. I tried to make this chapter better to make up for that. Anyway, thank you wishfulliving89 for reviewing!

_Chapter Fourteen: Familiarity_

Sweat beaded on his forehead. He wanted the pain to end soon. Even though he was quite used to his entire body feeling on fire, that did not mean he liked the sensation. The urge to cry out in some form became more urgent. Though even if he wanted to, no sound would come out. Even in his daze, he could hear the voices around him, filled with panic. He wanted to give up and go to sleep.

_When did I become so weak?_

The thought echoed in his mind. He knew when his weakness was exposed, but when did this state begin to show? His head started to throb, making thinking a chore. All he wanted to do was sleep, but the others around him were adamant about keeping him awake. A sharp pain ran up from his toe, causing him to cringe. One person took notice of this and grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He glanced and saw a familiar blonde-haired woman. He knew her face, he knew…his mind went blank.

Another jolt of pain and he squeezed on her hand until it passed. Why did he feel so bad? What caused him to be in this state? All he could remember up was that Roy came bursting into his room and said that they still cared for him. The words of the doctor echoed in his mind.

"Everyone try to keep him awake. If he sleeps, there's no telling if he'll wake up again."

Everyone took the doctor's orders to heart. Several people tried to talk to him, in hopes that he would give them all a response. But in all of the noise, he couldn't make out any distinct words. His mind tried to sort through all of the shouting with little success. He held onto the person's hand as a lifeline. Why he trusted her didn't make any sense to him, but he did so.

"You, take his temperature and see if he's running a fever. I'm going to check his wounds and see how many of them are still infected. Also, why did no one give him any medication? My guess is that he is in a whole lot of pain because of that. I want one of you to go get me some morphine. Hook him up to the machines and monitor his brain activities. I want to be sure that his head injury isn't going to be calling problems."

The hand that was holding his slipped away. He heard about half of the words spoken, and didn't like the tone used. Even if he couldn't think straight, he understood urgency when he heard it.

"He's running a hundred and six degree fever."

"Bring some ice; we need to get that under control right away. I'm checking over his legs and feet first. Remove the casts on his right leg. Let's move!"

"Sir, he's starting to settle down."

"Good, let's make sure that he stays in that state for a while."

--

"Havoc," Hawkeye called.

She walked away from the room that they took Ed into to find the smoker in the waiting room. He was talking to Breda and Falman. Their faces looked grim. She hadn't seen them look that way since they learned about Ed's disappearance. She frowned for a moment before replacing her mask.

"Havoc," she repeated, coming closer to their group.

He glanced at her for a brief second before looking away. Even after all of these years, she could tell when someone was withholding information. Before Havoc even spoke, she could see the hesitation in his eyes.

He smiled to try and cover up the information. "What are you here for, Riza? I thought you would stay with Ed."

"I would have but they didn't need another person in that room. We need to try and figure out what caused him to suddenly change like that. Even though he seemed to be struggling with our presence, something set him off far worse than we could ever. I'm going to head back to Headquarters to talk to the Colonel. No doubt he will want an update about the current situation."

She noticed Havoc's smile falter and his eyes darting back toward Falman. The corners of her lips dropped into a frown.

_Something is wrong with Roy and they don't want to tell me._

"What has he gotten himself into?" she mumbled.

Havoc blinked. "What are you talking about?"

"You know who I am talking about. What did the Colonel do?"

Her fingers ached to pull her gun and aim it at their skulls but decided against doing so given their current location. If they didn't volunteer information, she would get information one way or another. The three men looked uneasy. Havoc sighed.

"You might as well know. Mustang's missing. He left Headquarters sometime before lunch and never returned."

"Did he mention anything to anyone in the office?"

"No, he didn't mention anything to us."

"That is odd of him to do," she muttered.

"He usually tells you something, but you weren't around in the morning."

"I went off to deliver some important documents to the Investigations Department."

The four of them lapsed into silence. Hawkeye tried to think of where Roy would go. She let out a sigh.

"I'm going back to Headquarters. My bet is that whatever he was working on beforehand will indicate his location."

"What if you don't find anything?" Breda asked.

"Then we're going to be in the exact same situation a few weeks ago when we couldn't find Ed. However, I'm not going to give up because of that."

"Do you think that someone is behind Mustang's disappearance?" Falman asked.

"I would not rule out the possibility. After all, there are many officials who hate him because he kissed ass to get in his current position," Havoc replied.

"Well that was a less than appropriate way of putting the hard work and dedication Colonel Mustang's put into his work," Hawkeye scowled.

The three men exchanged nervous glances. Without saying another word, she stormed off toward Headquarters. The walk from the hospital took longer than she expected, but that gave her time to rationalize everything out. Roy left the office without telling anyone his location. That alone wasn't normal.

_To do something like that meant that he received something that contained news that shocked, intrigued, or worried him. I hope that he didn't get himself into trouble this time. I don't even want to entertain the thought of him getting in trouble with the officials. _

She sped up her pace. Upon entering the office, she resorted to her composed look. No one else needed to know of the situation at hand until tomorrow morning. If they couldn't find Roy before then, then they would be in trouble. She strode into the Colonel's office. The place needed some tidying, but she ignored the mess to look for anything to give off indication as to where Mustang was. The normal files were there, unsigned and disregarded. Nothing stood out to her as odd out of the numerous files there.

After taking a quick glance at the papers, she moved toward his cabinet. She doubted that anything useful would be in there. Opening the drawers revealed nothing out of the ordinary. A stack of new blue folders caught her attention. She pulled one out and started to read the content. In an instant, she recognized the format of the reports.

_General Firmin's been keeping Roy informed through these reports. Why would he keep these in this cabinet? _

Nothing out of the ordinary caught her eye at first. Then she looked over the evidence gathered in the time that they stopped investigating. Her brows furrowed upon reading two items that she didn't remember encountering in the room. Deciding to start there, she left his office and headed toward Ed's apartment.

--

"I don't think that they should be permitted to see him," the doctor insisted.

Havoc scowled and wanted to punch the man right then. His patience was holding, but not by much. He curled a hand into a fist and took in a few breaths.

"I understand his condition. However, I believe that they should be allowed to see Ed."

"I don't think that is a wise idea at the moment. We finally got him out of a dangerous situation, and I don't want him to go back there. Mr. Elric needs some time to recover from that last episode. Because of the number of relapses, I'm afraid that the strain on his heart is going to be too much. Once he rests for a few days, then I _might_ reconsider."

_Temper Jean, stay in control. _

"You don't understand the situation between these two. They only have each other, damn it."

"Which could cause even more strain, I refuse to let him in at this time."

"Can't he just take a peek? I mean, Ed's sleeping right now. I don't see anything wrong with letting him visit his brother."

"I don't care, do not ask again."

Jean walked away without trying again. There wasn't any way to make the doctor understand the situation between the brothers without telling him the full story, which would be a terrible idea. He sighed and made his way back to the waiting room.

"Havoc, what did he say?" a shaky voice asked.

"He's being a pain in the—," he paused and remembered who he was talking to. "He's not letting anyone see Ed at this moment."

"Why? Is brother in that serious of a condition?"

"According to him," Havoc replied. "Every time someone familiar talks to, or around Ed, he goes into shock. If that continues to happen, his heart will give up. The want him to recover for a few days before letting you guys to see him. I can't overrule any decision made by them."

"What will we do in the meantime?" Al whispered.

Havoc wanted to pull out a cigarette and take a long drag. His frustration was getting to him.

"I suggest finding a place to stay. Your apartment is still under lockdown as far as I know. I'm sure that Gracia wouldn't mind a few extra house guests."

"Havoc," a different voice whispered. He cringed at the tone used.

"What Winry?"

She lifted her head. Tears looked like they could fall at any moment. He hated himself for not being able to get them to see Ed.

"Why don't I try?"

"What good will that do, Winry?" Al asked.

"I'm his auto mail mechanic. I should be allowed to see him for maintenance. I'll be right back," she said.

Before he could even protest, the teenager went to confront the annoying doctor. He suppressed a chuckled.

--

Riza frowned when she reached apartment. Right away, she could tell that something happened earlier in the day. Her suspicious were confirmed when she found the door ajar. As a precaution, she drew her gun before entering. The front room looked untouched. She moved to back room. Drying blood caught her eye. She moved toward the spot. The light from the window reflected off of two objects in the room. A smirk spread across her lips.

Whoever shot the bullets didn't bother cleaning up afterward. That meant that they did not care about being caught. She pulled a white handkerchief out of her military jacket to pick one of them up. The first didn't make any impression on her.

_An ordinary handgun that can be bought from any weapon dealer._

She picked up the second casing and paled. She recognized the engraving on the shell.

_Roy, what the hell did you get yourself into?_


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Voice

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.**

Lady Monozuki: I apologize for the horrendously late update. My life hasn't been normal for the past two weeks. Thank goodness school is almost out. Speaking of which, I should be studying for my final exam tomorrow, but my muse decided that _now_ is the time to write. So I'm delaying studying for this. Thanks to Orange Singer for reviewing, hope you enjoy the chapter!

_Chapter Fifteen: Voice_

Riza always prided herself in being rational and calm in spite of every situation. Even when Ed disappeared, she maintained her appearance and carried out her duties while trying to keep the others at bay. In Ishbal, she kept herself in the moment by reminding herself of the reason why she joined the military in the first place. However, she knew that one day her façade would crumble and there would be a point in her life where she would panic. Now was one of those times.

Two situations clawed at her, both demanded attention, and would not be ignored. The first was Ed. His condition seemed to be growing steadily worse. She had hoped that Al would be able to help him, but the doctors refused to let him in. The second was Roy. From what she had witnessed in the apartment, someone had taken him. Her mind couldn't help but think that soon he might end up in the hospital bed next to Ed. Her calm mask was slipping. If she made one wrong mistake, everything could go from bad to worse.

She walked down the halls of the hospital to find the group that Roy trusted. She needed them right now; they would be far more rational than she at the moment. When she saw the signs, her mind emptied and she could only think about Roy's situation. With Ed in the hospital, they needed him to be the strong leader that they all depended on.

_Just admit that _you_ need him here, Riza._

Yes, she needed him to bring her peace. When her father asked Roy to take care of her, she rejected him. However, after getting to know him, she accepted him. He brought peace and security in her life. Spotting a familiar metal suit, she hurried her footsteps.

"Riza, what are you doing back here?" a surprised Havoc asked.

"We have a situation," she mumbled.

"What?"

"Where's Falman, Breda, and Furey?"

"Breda and Falman are getting some water, I sent Fuery with Winry."

Riza frowned. "Why did you do that?"

"Because she's going to try and get permission to see Ed," he replied.

"They wouldn't even let us in. How does she plan on accomplishing what we could not?"

"She's got something other than rank on her side."

"What do you mean?"

"Meaning, she's not only Ed's friend, but she is his mechanic."

"I suppose, when do you think they'll be back?"

"I can't say for sure, but what's this situation that's got you all bent out of shape?"

She wanted to snap and insist the opposite of his words, but he wouldn't be fooled. "I told you, we have a situation. We need to discuss this as soon as possible. I'm afraid that ever second we lose will cost _him_ time."

"What are you blabbering about?"

She took a deep breath before casting a glance at the suit of armor.

"Roy is missing," she whispered.

"What?" Havoc shouted.

"Keep your voice down!" she berated.

She once again looked at Al. He didn't make any motion or say anything. She hated not knowing what was running through his head at the time.

"How do you know that he is missing?" Havoc whispered.

"Because I went back to Ed's apartment after discovering some documents in h is office. I thought that maybe he went there because he couldn't let the case go. I found blood and a few bullet shells."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"The blood was fresh. Plus, take a look at the engraving on this casing."

She pulled out the casing out of her pocket and showed the marking on the casing. Havoc's eyes widened.

"You don't mean to tell me that—?" the question was never finished when they saw Falman, Breda, Fuery, and Winry approaching.

"How did everything go?" Riza asked, directing the question toward Winry.

The girl smirked. "I'm allowed to go in and make sure that his auto mail is working properly."

"How did you manage that?" Riza pressed.

"I told them that if his auto mail wasn't functioning properly or pinching his nerves that he could stay sick forever and lose all feeling in his nerves attached to the equipment. They seemed hesitant but relented anyway. I came back here to get my tools."

Riza nodded. "Right, I need to speak to Fuery, Falman, and Breda right now. I'll leave Ed to you, Winry."

She turned and walked away.

--

Winry grabbed her tools and started to head for Ed's hospital room. She wanted to say something that would lighten Al's mood, but couldn't find the words.

"Winry," she heard. She spun around.

"Yes, Al?"

"Take care of brother for me."

"I will, I promise."

--

Roy felt hot breath against his skin. He tried to think of another way out of the situation at hand, but couldn't. With his hands bound and no alchemy at his disposal, he could do nothing. Struggling seemed t make everything worse for him and more enjoyable for his assailant, who right now was in the process of removing "unwanted" barriers. Somehow, while he was thinking of how to get out of this situation, he found himself pushed against a wall.

Rough kisses were placed up and down his neck, making him shudder. He hated how his body betrayed him. He didn't want this, but his body liked the attention. Mentally, he strung a thousand curses toward the man, wanting to say them aloud, but not being able find the voice to do so. His shirt flew open, falling down his arms and stopped at the main source of his frustration, the shackles that bound his hands. He tried to reach for the pocket, but to no avail.

He hoped that this would all end soon.

--

Winry opened the door to Ed's room. She had expected him to not look like his former self, but she never expected him to look this bad. A white cloth rested on his forehead. His cheeks were stained red from fever, but everything else was pale. Bandages covered most of his skin. She wanted to run over to his bedside and give him a hug. However, the doctor that was in the room to watch her, made her stop. Taking her tools to the bedside, she decided to start with his arm. After all, he was notorious for bending that all to hell before anything else.

She pulled the sheets back, gasping a little bit when she saw how dented he managed to get the piece. Her usual fury was forgotten when she glanced at his face again. Mustang never told her and Al the entire situation, all they knew was that Ed had been kidnapped and was in hospital. In spite of not knowing, she got the feeling that she didn't want to hear it from someone other than Ed. With a sigh, she wiped the surface of the metal.

After a couple of minutes of examining, she noted a few spots of deterioration. Instantly, she recognized what happened. Her temper flared. She looked at the doctor.

"You," she said in an icy voice. "You washed his auto mail with soap, didn't you?"

The doctor gaped at her for a moment and then nodded. Her fists tightened into balls. Every ounce of her wanted to throw a wrench at his head.

"Idiot! You just ruined expensive machinery _and_ my finest piece of work! How dare you do something like that! You owe me a bunch of money to make a new one, jerk!"

"B-but he's your client," the doctor said defensively.

"True, but my client isn't stupid enough to wash his auto mail with soap. Plus, this happened under your charge. You doctors should know how to properly care for machinery such as this."

She let out a growl before returning to work. Every so often, she would mumble something about incompetence and how much making a new arm and leg would cost the poor doctor. In her rant, she didn't notice the slight flutter of his eyes. After deciding that she would have to take off both the arm and the leg, she detached them from his nerves.

_One positive thing about him being unconscious is that he won't feel the pain when I put them back in._

Setting her work aside, she checked his ports and noticed a couple of bruising areas around his arm and leg.

_I guess that confirms one thing, his auto mail as pinching his flesh. I wonder when that happened. _

She tested a few things and then set to work again. Time no longer mattered as she took apart the machinery, trying to determine the extent of the idiot doctor's damage.

"W-Winry?"


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Custody

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.**

Lady Monozuki: My excuses: check my profile if you care. So, I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. I feel bad for just leaving you all there. Hopefully this chapter will make up for it. A big thank you to Orange Singer for reviewing! Enjoy!

_Chapter Sixteen: Custody_

Riza stared at the brick shabby building in front of her. In a short amount of time, they found someone who saw Roy being chased by two people down an alleyway. The same person also said that they took a vehicle and headed toward east. After questioning a few others, someone mentioned three men come into this building. She hoped that this was not a waste of their time. She tried to empty her mind from all possible concern, repeated that this was just another mission to execute. After a few minutes, she went over the plan with the others one more time.

Havoc and Breda would go through the front, making sure to knock out anyone along the way. They were to make sure that they weren't followed and to avoid bloodshed whenever possible. If they couldn't, they had permission to disarm the others. She and Falman would go through the back door while Fuery maintained communication between the two groups. If all things went well, the sweep of the building would take around forty minutes.

Under normal circumstances, sweeps usually took fifteen minutes at the most. However, she wanted to make sure that they checked every section for possible hints of what went on in there, if anything. She took in a deep breath before grabbing her gun and turning the safety off. After making sure that she stocked up on plenty of bullets, in case she needed them, she turned to face the others.

"Let's proceed with the operation," she said with confidence. "Havoc, Breda, give us three minutes to get into position before you go through the front. Falman, let's go."

"Yes sir," they replied.

With that, she headed for the back of the building. The path toward the back of the building took great care as there seemed to be several possible traps for any unlucky person who dared to venture down there. However, they managed to avoid them all and reached the back door. They stood on either side of the frame and counted to sixty before entering through the door. He went in low and she covered for him high. No one shot at them. As they moved forward, the lack of light made visibility poor.

Her senses went into overdrive and tried to compensate for the lack of seeing. Every noise made her paranoid, but she didn't lose her focus. Even though worry clouded her judgment, she knew better than to point her gun at the sound of a mouse running across the floor. Other than the sound of a few stray rodents, the silence worried her. They took light steps toward another room. Before crossing the archway, they gave glances to the left and right. Movement could be heard in the distance, but nothing that sounded serious. She glared at Falman, who waited for her to move.

After a few moments, Havoc and Breda walked into the hallway. She relaxed a little.

"Did you find anything?" she asked.

"Nothing of note, the place looks abandoned," Havoc reported.

A loud crash from below caught their attention. Even though the place looked abandoned, someone was here. She kept her finger tight on the trigger and started to head below. The others followed her. On the flight downstairs, they did their best to not alert anyone of their presence. The wooden stairs did not betray them. Two guards stood outside of a room. She held a hand for the others to stop. At their angle, the guards couldn't see them. The blue military uniforms gave them away and she recognized one of their faces as the assistant to General Firmin. A scowl formed on her face.

Another loud crash forced her to make a quick decision. Someone else was in the room and she bet that person was Roy. She motioned for them to follow her. They sprung down the stairs, focusing their guns on the two people there. They looked shocked at their presence. Neither of them could draw their guns in time.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned.

"We should ask you the same question," the assistant snarled.

She kept her aim steady and gave a nod. Havoc and Breda moved closer toward the two soldiers. The assistant's hand flew to reach his weapon. However, Havoc beat him.

Riza watched as Havoc leap on top of the assistant, knocking away the gun in one swift movement. However, the other man put up more resilience disarmed and elbowed Havoc in the face. Breda had a similar struggle with the other person, but without a little more violence. She kept a tight grip on her weapon, just in case. After several long minutes, they managed to disarm the two men and bind their hands with rope they had brought.

Barrels from the weapons pressed against their back. She made sure that Havoc and Breda aimed there so that if they had to shoot, they wouldn't hit anything life-threatening. She walked over and tested the door. The handle did not twist. She directed her attention toward the assistant.

"Give me the keys," she ordered.

"There's no fucking way in hell I'll give you those," the assistant barked.

She frowned. "You're not in a position to refuse. In case you didn't realize, you are outnumbered and disarmed."

A chuckle escaped the other's lips. "You think that we're outnumbered. You made a big mistake in coming here."

"Give me the keys," she repeated.

"You'll have to shoot me first."

Clearly demanding wasn't going to get her anywhere. She started to head over to the man when the door flashed blue. She raised her weapon once more, anticipating the worst. A man staggered out from the room, she almost dropped the gun in surprise.

"Sir!" she gasped. She noticed blood on his body and that he was shirtless. Relief spread through her and it took every fiber not to rush over there and slap him. His look told her that he almost went through hell and didn't need that right now.

He gave her a weak smile. "Looks like you caught two more of the people involved," he said.

"Wow, you look like shit. What happened to you?" Havoc asked.

_Tactful as ever._

"You don't want to know. There's another that's unconscious in the room. I want them all brought into my custody so that I can question them."

"Yes sir," they replied.

"Make sure that General Firmin stays out of this for as long as possible. Once he finds out that his secretary is involved, he'll get the proper papers to get him out of my reach. I need answers before he can do that."

They didn't say anything else in reply to that. She and Falman went into the dark room to find an unconscious person on the ground. Together, they carried him to the car upstairs. Havoc and Breda brought the other two. She entered the vehicle and kept her weapon on their "prisoners". The car ride there didn't take long, but still felt like an eternity all the same.

She left the people in the care of Havoc, Breda, Fuery, and Falman to follow Roy to his office. No one made comment about his disheveled appearance. She ventured a little to grab him another shirt from the laundry room. A few minutes later, she knocked on the door to his office.

"Come in," he said.

She walked in and closed the door behind her. He eyed her for a moment, but didn't say anything. She could tell that he wanted to talk to her about what happened. She walked over toward him.

"Sir, I brought you a clean shirt."

"Thank you."

He accepted the white shirt and put it out. She waited for him to speak again. He walked over to his desk and sat in his chair.

"Riza," he muttered.

She didn't make any comment about him using her first name. Instead, she sat down in front of him.

"That man that you and Falman carried," he continued. "H-He's the man who attacked me seventeen years ago."

Her breath caught in her throat. Even though he didn't explain what happened in the room, she connected the dots. Her fingers twitched.

"How did you manage to escape?" she asked, directing the conversation away from painful memories.

"He banged me around a couple of times, which caused the chalk in my pocket to fall out. I grabbed a hold of it and managed to get free."

"Then he didn't…?"

"No, and I'm glad that he didn't."

She nodded. "What are you going to do now that you have them in custody?"

"I'm going to question them before turning them over to the authorities. I know that they should go there first, but I need some questions answered first."

"Do you think that they'll talk?"

"No, but that doesn't stop me from trying."

"I suppose not."

--

The voice had caught her by surprise. The wrench fell from her hand and clanged against the ground. She looked at the person lying in the bed. Surprise showed on his face, along with a hint of relief. The expression of something other than irritation made her question if the person was in fact Ed.

"E-Ed!" she stammered. "I didn't realize that you woke up."

"That's obvious," he replied.

She could hear him straining his voice to try and talk to her. The doctor in the room cleared his throat.

"Excuse me, Ms. Rockbell, but I'm afraid that you are going to have to leave."

"Why?" Ed demanded.

"Because you need your rest," the doctor replied.

"She stays," he said.

"Mr. Elric, as your doctor, I am allowed to remove people from the room if I deem them a hazard to your health."

"S-she's not a hazard."

"Why don't you just go back to sleep and I'll take care of the rest. I also suggest not talking anymore, you vocal cords are strained enough as it is."

"She stays," he repeated. "I-I want her here."

Winry wanted to tell him that it was fine for her leave. However, his last words changed her mind.

"Doctor, please allow me to stay and work on his auto mail."

The doctor gave her a hard glare, which she returned.

"I promise that I won't speak to him."

The doctor looked ready to say no again. However, Ed spoke one last time.

"Let her stay, I'll rest."

The doctor sighed in defeat. Winry gave Ed a grateful smile before returning to work. Eventually she would need to leave and get some new metal plating for his auto mail, but that could wait. It made her very happy to know that Ed wanted her to stay with him.


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Moving Forward

**Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist.**

Lady Monozuki: I apologize for the lateness of this chapter (I always seem to be doing that nowadays, I'll have to work on that). I really do apologize, as usual; my problems are listed in my profile. I wrote this chapter and then decided that I really needed to move things along. So I ended up making it a bit longer. I hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading. In the next chapter, a secret will be exposed and another step in Ed's recovery.

_Chapter Seventeen: Moving Forward_

The phone rang in the office, breaking the tension between him and Hawkeye. Even though she agreed to let him question the people they took in earlier, he could tell that she didn't approve of his actions. Grateful for the distraction, he picked up the phone.

"Colonel Mustang speaking," he said.

"Good afternoon, Colonel. I wanted to inform you that Mr. Elric woke up from his unconscious state and is doing fine. Ms. Rockbell is with him at the moment and so far there aren't any signs of panic attacks. Even though he is far from recovering, this is a good sign. Plus, he personally requested that I let her stay. I'll let you know more later in the day."

"Thank you for the update, I look forward to your call."

He hung up. The distraction hadn't lasted long enough, so he hoped that the good news would offset the mood.

"That was Ed's doctor," he began. He noticed how Riza tensed slightly.

"What did he say?"

"Ed woke up again. However, there wasn't a panic attack this time."

"Is Winry still with him?"

"Yes," Roy replied. "In fact, the doctor said that Ed requested her to stay with him."

"I'm sure that's one load off of your mind," she commented.

"I suppose. However, I won't be satisfied until this entire matter is solved. Once we find out what that bastard wanted with Ed, then we can get some rest."

At that statement, the tension returned. He could sense her concern and knew that he would get an earful no matter what he said.

"Sir, just don't take things overboard. We have him in custody, that's the most important thing right now. He can't harm you or Ed anymore."

He nodded. "I know. However, that doesn't mean that I don't want to take my revenge all the same."

"I would advise against that. I know that this case is hard because of your personal attachment. I think that you would be better off giving it to someone else. Turn him in, please Roy."

"No, Firmin can still pull enough strings to let them off. I want them to be questioned by me personally before they're free to roam the streets again."

"They might claim that you tortured them."

"That's a risk that I'm willing to take. I'm not going to do anything that I'll regret."

"Roy," she said in a firm voice. "Take off your gloves; they'll be less of a temptation."

"No, I don't want to be unguarded in case they break free."

"That's why we'll all be here with weapons. We'll protect you from anything first."

"Riza, don't try to stop me."

"You're being irrational."

"You don't understand," he snapped.

"I understand more than you think! You're upset because he ruined most of you life. He's the reason why your parents left you, he's the reason why you almost killed yourself several times, and he's the reason why you took this job in the first place. You have to understand that you can't shoulder this alone, you have to let some things go. There is a fine line between professional and personal and right now, there isn't much a difference from what you're describing to me. This isn't about you, this also involves Ed. You want to bring him to justice, I understand. However, there is a right way to do this. You don't want to be like him."

There was a long silence. He knew that she was right, even though he didn't want to admit that. A sigh escaped his lips.

"I just want to know why," he said in a small voice. "That's all I've ever wanted to know."

"I understand, will you let us help you though?"

"Yes," he said. He tugged off his precious gloves and handed them out to her. "I'll give these to you until they're out of my sight."

"Thank you for understanding, sir. I'll be sure to keep them safe."

"Thank you for preventing me from doing anything stupid."

"It's a part of my contract, sir."

He smiled for a brief moment, but a knock brought him out of his thoughts. He didn't want to face them at this moment, but he knew that he would lose the chance to if he didn't at that moment. He gave a quick glance Riza, who nodded.

"Come in," he said.

The door opened with the rest of his trusted people bringing in the three men that the brought with them earlier. He motioned for them to put them in front of his desk. The one who raped him had regained consciousness and glared at him with cold eyes. He returned the intense gaze with one of his own; he would not let fear keep its hold on him forever. One of the guards that he had found looked frightened while the other didn't seem to be intimidated at all. He didn't want to question the one who would rather bite his own tongue than spill information anyway. He had narrowed down his candidates. He addressed his attacker first.

"I thought the day would never come when you would be in this situation. I, for one, think that it's seventeen years overdue. Do you not agree, Matthew Hirsch?"

"Hmph, go ahead and interrogate me. I'm in no mood to play games."

"That makes two of us then. I won't play games if you tell me the answers that I want to hear. If we both do as the other wants then this will be over with quickly and we can all enjoy our afternoons, well I will at least. I don't think that you will be enjoying yours since you'll be headed toward Central police after this."

Hirsch let out a low growl. "Get on with your questions. I doubt I'll answer though."

"Well that depends on how much you value your life, doesn't it? All I want to know is why you decided to attack me and Edward Elric."

"I'm not at liberty to answer."

"How long are you going to stand by that statement?"

"Until the day I die."

"Somehow that response doesn't surprise me. I don't have any intention of letting you go until you answer my question though. All I need from you is a reason and I'll be happy to end this session, I don't like being anywhere near you."

"That makes two of us then. I think that my reasons for choosing you would be obvious. Your innocence as a child drew me in. If I didn't attack you, you wouldn't be who you are today. Take for example what you are doing now. You run around as a dog for the military and try to clean up messes that you know nothing about, kill people that you don't even know without remorse. You know, I could ask you the same question. Why do you do what you do?"

Roy flinched and growled. He didn't need anyone else to remind him of his own guilt. He killed hundreds of people that he would've rather not, but that didn't compare. He had orders; his attacker did it just for the fun.

"I'm through with you," he said. He turned his attention to the weaker of the two guards. He vaguely recalled their names being Hoffman and Gott. "Gott, why did General Firmin send you there to protect that area?"

"We're not going to tell you," Hoffman snapped.

"I didn't ask you, I was addressing your partner."

"He won't talk to you."

"We'll see how much he talks," Roy said with confidence. He met the gaze of the second guard, who shuddered after a few seconds. It would be a couple of minutes before he got the answer that he wanted. He could wait though; he was a patient man...most of the time at any rate.

"I'm waiting for an answer," he said in a cold voice, hoping that would scare him even more.

"We had orders to make sure that you weren't interrupted," Gott said in a small voice.

"Who ordered you to stand there? You both are under the command of General Firmin, did he order you there?"

Gott didn't answer. However, he could see the answer written on the other's features. Someone else gave him the orders. That didn't make sense considering that General Firmin would still have to approve of them doing tasks for anyone else. He tried to figure out who would want him to go through another ordeal similar to the one seventeen years ago. Did he really pose such a threat? And what about Ed, why would they send someone after him as well? Was there something that they were missing? Yes, that much was obvious. He knew that there was a missing key that they needed to solve this. However, he didn't know what else there was in this case. So far, they had a lot of circumstantial evidence, nothing really solid that could definitely send them away forever. He massaged his temples and tried to think.

They scarred both him and Ed for life. He managed to move past his problems after a long period of time. However, Ed was another story. The younger person would have a hard battle ahead of him considering that he went into panic attacks around certain people.

_Why was he so afraid? Was that the true intent from the beginning? But why would they want Ed to not trust anyone? _

"Sir, are you all right?" Riza asked, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Yes, just thinking. You can take these three out of here and take them to the proper authorities. I don't have anything else to say to them right now."

She nodded toward the others, who took the others out of the room, leaving them alone once again.

"Riza, what are we missing?" he asked.

"What are you talking about, sir?"

"There's something that we're missing in this investigation. I don't know what is, but I get the feeling that we're sitting in the middle of everything without a clue. I'm not going to believe that the attack on me and Ed happened for no particular reason. There is a reason; we're just not seeing the pattern."

She didn't say anything to him. He knew that she was trying to piece together the puzzle as well. Nothing that they knew made sense, which only deepened their confusion. They needed to find the one piece that would bring this investigation closer to an end.

"At least he's not out on the streets anymore," she said in a quiet voice. "You'll be able to rest and relax and so will Ed. Speaking of which, are you going to tell him the news?"

"I don't think that will be a good idea at the moment. He seems to be recovering fine, I don't want to him to go through another attack because of me."

"This isn't something that you can keep from him; he needs to know that he's safe."

"I'll tell him tomorrow if he's still doing fine. Right now, him recovering is important."

"Yes, we all want to see him back to his original form. However, that won't be possible unless we give him something to ease his mind with. But since you're going to tell him tomorrow, I won't raise anymore objections. I suggest that you get some sleep, Colonel. Today's been a long day for all of us, I'm sure that you're no exception considering the state we found you in."

"I'll be fine," he assured. "Once I'm done signing these papers, I'll head out for the evening."

"All right," she said. She placed his gloves on his desk. "I'm also returning these to you."

"Thanks for holding on to them."

"Any time, sir. I'll see you in the morning."

He nodded and turned his attention back to the paperwork on his desk. He wanted to go home. However, he knew that he wouldn't get any sleep if he did, so he decided to finish the work piling on his desk instead. Maybe the thousands of pages would put him to sleep and he would be able to forget what almost happened earlier. With a sigh, he grabbed the nearest document and started to read.

-- (Small time skip, like two days)

_Why am I still here?_

"All right Mr. Elric, we looked over your wounds and everything is looking good from here. Although we still want to keep you here another week for observations."

_When did I become so comfortable with the thought of death?_

"During this time we're going to reintroduce you to some familiar faces to see how you react. If your condition doesn't get any better then you'll need to stay here for an undisclosed period of time."

_When did I decide to give up on myself?_

He nodded, not really soaking in the words that the doctor was saying. In order to get out of this hell-hole, he would need to be able to show that he was fine mentally and that he wouldn't go into shock again upon seeing certain people. He could feel his hand shaking. In order to try and prevent it from doing so, he clenched the blanket covering him.

_You need to get over your fear. You need to get out of here, think of how much time you've wasted being weak. The armor that Al's bound to couldn't reject his soul at any time; you need to be out there looking for the Stone. Grin and bear the pain, put on a façade so that you can finish your goal._

"_Your brother doesn't care about you; all he wants is his body. Once he has that, he'll abandon you like the others."_

"Al," he whispered.

_You won't leave me, will you?_

"Mr. Elric, are you all right?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking."

"Ah, you should get some more rest. Tomorrow we'll start introducing visitors."

He nodded again, not caring if his reputation for being an asshole goes down the drain.

_I'm not getting anywhere. I promised myself that I would be strong from Al's sake. But how can I be strong for someone else if I've given up? When did I stop fighting?_

He knew the answers to all of his questions. However, that didn't prevent him from asking them anyway. A sigh escaped his lips. If he couldn't get past this point, then his whole goal would be meaningless. He had promised to restore Al to his original state and he _never_ went back on his word. A frown formed on his face.

_Even if he does, I can't stop him. He's free to do what he wants. Besides, he's probably better off without me screwing up his life. Stop! I can't keep thinking like this. I want to convince the doctors that you're getting better, not sinking further into depression. I need to be strong for Al. He needs me to help restore his body. We left everything behind five years ago; we have no where else but to go forward._

The memories of what happened flashed through his mind once again. Nausea settled in his stomach and dizziness forced him to close his eyes. He thought back to the night that they burned their house. He engraved that date in his alchemists' watch, an unneeded reminder of the path they took. They went through hell and were willing to go through it all again for the sake of restoring Al's body. How many times had he promised to never give up until they found a way? How many dead ends did they come across but continued to press on? How many times did he think they were chasing a myth and then find a small shred of evidence that gave him the benefit of the doubt?

He gave a small laugh. He put so much faith into something that supposedly didn't exist, yet he didn't even believe in himself. Tears stung his eyes, but he resolved not to let them fall. Everything he had worked for was falling. If he didn't pick himself back up again, everything would be for naught.


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Firmin

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.**

Lady Monozuki: Ack, I feel bad for not getting a timely update out. This chapter was extremely difficult to write. I think I rewrote this about seven times. Now that I've gotten to this point, my muse is working overtime. So updates should be coming sooner. I promise that you won't have to wait over a month for the next one. Enjoy the chapter and sorry for the long wait.

_Chapter Eighteen: Firmin_

Ed glanced at the door, he knew that the doctor would be coming back with a second visitor of the day. He wondered who else the psycho could bring in. Although he wanted to show that he didn't need to be in the hospital anymore, the earlier visit had exhausted him. If he had to deal with an annoying person, his barriers would crumble. Even still, he wanted to try and get better, maybe the second visit would do him good. Staying in this place did not appeal to him. A shudder ran down his spine. The hospital had too many open places where too many things could go wrong. However, stepping out into the streets did not sound like a good option either.

All he wanted was a place where he could be safe, where he didn't need to look at every person with suspicion.

_Though even if I do get out of here, the memories will still come back to me. I can't forget._

He continued to shiver. The invisible hands gripped him by the throat and started to choke the life out of him. He felt pain shoot up his arm and heard a knife fall to the ground. Dizziness and nausea and settled in, making everything worse. He couldn't breathe! The door to his room opened and everything returned to normal. For a few seconds, he took loud breathes and then tried to level his breathing. The doctor stepped into the room

However, his eyes instantly fixed themselves on the person behind him. The black hair and blue uniform told him who the person was instantly. He wanted to hurt the doctor for brining in _him_. He raised his temporary auto mail hand to his head and started to rub his temples. This meeting would be hell for the both of them. The taller man sat in the chair next to his bed without uttering one word of acknowledgement. Ed wanted to throw a little tantrum about not getting enough attention, but figured that would only bring on a short joke. A scowl formed on his face.

"I see you're looking better, Ed."

_Great way to start a conversation, Colonel Bastard._

"I see you look more sleep deprived than ever, Colonel," he retorted in a harsh voice. He swallowed. Somehow, the absolute hatred he once felt for the man had vanished. Ed didn't need to think hard as to why. Roy had found him and saved him from a guaranteed death. He could not help but feel some sort of gratitude toward the man (even if he is a pain in the ass). After a few moments, he decided to try get rid of the current tense air.

"However, you look as though you heard some good news. The look of relief takes ten years off of your life."

"I did hear some good news," Roy confirmed. "That's the reason for my unexpected visit. I know your doctor didn't want you to deal with two people in one day, but this couldn't wait."

Ed scoffed, but ended up coughing. "Go on, I'm listening."

"We caught your attacker, Ed."

"W-what?"

"We caught the person who did this to you. There's no reason for you to worry anymore. We'll take care of everything and you focus on your recovery."

He didn't know what to say. The fact that he didn't have to worry about the man who caused all of this mess did little to comfort him. Even though he heard the words, uneasiness and anxiety gripped his heart. He could not shake the feeling that this was far from over. The colonel stood and nodded at him before heading out the door.

"W-wait," Ed said. Roy stopped. "I want to hear his voice. I won't be at ease until I hear his voice."

"I'll see what I can do, but I doubt that your doctor would approve."

"I-I don't care."

Roy nodded and left him alone. He let out a small sigh and closed his eyes. Drowsiness sunk and he fell into a deep sleep.

--

Roy stepped out of the hospital and found Hawkeye waiting for him outside. He nodded toward her and she joined his side. Neither of them spoke, but he didn't mind. He knew that Edward wanted some form of closure from the incident. He did not blame the teen for wanting to verify the truth.

"How did your meeting with Edward go, sir?"

"I don't think that he believes me when I said we caught his rapist."

"What gives you that idea?"

"His eyes," he replied, "and the fact that he wants to hear his attacker's voice. He needs some form of closure or else he won't be able to move on from this incident. It's hard enough for him to accept what's happened to him. Once he confirms what I told him, he can start to pick up the pieces in his life."

"What if the voice he hears is not his attacker?" Riza asked.

He scowled. "I'm sure that this person is the same one who attacked him. From what I gather, what happened to me and him are basically identical."

"I know, sir. I am merely asking a "what if" question."

"If the person is not the same, then he is going to have one hell of a time trying to get his life back in order. He will have a hard enough time with his rapist behind bars. However, if he knows the person who attacked him is on the streets, he will be more cautious than anything."

"I see."

The fell into a comfortable silence once again. His mind went through the day's events. A shiver ran down his spine as he recalled almost being raped again. The encounter with his rapist left him a little shaken. However, he would not fall, not this time. He frowned at the memory. Why would his attacker bother to call him beforehand? How did the man find out his private military number? And why did he get targeted twice? When did his attacker see him again? The questions did not have an immediate answer. In fact, he couldn't think of any off the top of his head.

His attacker obviously felt confident in his ability to not get caught, so he stayed in Central. However, the rest did not make any sense. Was his former attacker looking for another opportunity to break him? Or was it mere coincidence that brought the second encounter? No, the man had pinned for him. That's why he called. He wanted Roy to be broken once again. But why? The motivation behind the attack could not be simple. After all, they were dealing with someone delusional. The puzzle did not match up.

_Stop worrying about it. All that matters is that he can no longer harm anyone. Besides, he's not even in your jurisdiction anymore. You handed him over to be properly dealt with, he will get his punishment._

He frowned. The final piece to the puzzle was still missing one vital piece.

"_The answer you seek may be under your nose."_

Roy thought about those words and about the incident earlier. Somehow, the General knew about his assailant from all those years ago. However, how did their paths entwine? How did the General get in contact with the other person? Moreover, why would General Firmin want him to raped again? Accusing a General would not go over smoothly. He would have to play his cards right in order to expose the lies in the military.

"Riza," he said in a low voice.

"What, sir?"

"I think General Firmin is involved than we initially thought."

"Sir, we can't openly accuse him of planning attacks on both you and Edward."

"I know, Riza. That is one of the possibilities as to why the General's personal guards were standing outside of the door. Those two are sworn to serve and obey the General and him only. So unless they broke their loyalty to him, he ordered them. The one guard I questioned did not seem like the type who would dissuade from an oath so easily."

"Didn't you say that you were convinced that he received his orders from someone else, though?"

"Yes, but we don't know where those orders came from. For all we know, it could have been General Firmin using another ranking officer so not to arouse suspicion to himself."

"You're theory is becoming quite elaborate, Roy. We can't back anything that you're saying and accusing General Firmin of planning attacks on both you and Edward seems a bit far-fetched. Unless we get solid proof, I suggest that we focus back on our work."

He sighed and tried to think of a way to convince her. Though knowing her, she would sooner pull a gun to his head before giving in. Somehow, he would have to find out how far up the military ranks this whole plot went.

"Fine," he said.

_Though I have no intention of letting this go._

--

Morning came too soon for his liking. He looked over the same sentence for the thirteenth time, not comprehending a single word. His mind continued to work overtime on the possibility of General Firmin being involved. From what he could piece together, everything made sense. Of course, some of his conclusions sounded a bit far-fetched. He was almost convinced that the General planned his attacks on Edward and himself.

_However, when the first attack happened on me, he was only a private. Did he receive help from someone in a higher position? If he did then I need to find out who._

"Sir," a voice said. The harshness of the tone brought him out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw Riza standing in front of his desk with the phone in hand. Roy blinked. He hadn't heard the phone ring.

"Ed's doctor gave you permission to take him to see his attacker on the condition that he comes along as well. He says that if the meeting will help bring Ed some form of closure, that it will be beneficial to his mental health."

"Tell him that I'll be waiting for them at two in the afternoon."

"Yes, sir."

He turned his attention back to the piece of paper without any interest whatsoever. He wanted to end this day so he could put his plan into motion. He decided that he would come back after normal hours and sneak into the file room to get records of Geneal Firmin, his guards, and any information that might help. Going in after hours would ensure that he would not be interrupted. The hours drawled on, making him feel more exhausted than normal. He stretched before standing.

Right now, he needed to pay a visit to General Firmin and hand him some completed stacks of work marked "urgent". He would normally send Hawkeye, but he sent her off to get him some lunch. Roy walked toward the General's office. He wanted to see how Firmin would react after what happened yesterday. He scowled as his shoulder throbbed. Somehow, he forgot to add the incident in Ed's apartment among the reasons as to why Roy suspected him as the possible leader in this entire scam.

He knocked on the door to the office and waited to be invited in. The deep voice of the General rang out and went inside. After making sure he shut the door all of the way, he walked over toward the desk.

"Colonel Roy Mustang, here to drop off these files."

The General tensed for a moment, but didn't do anything else.

"You may leave them on my desk. I didn't expect you to personally drop them off, Colonel."

"I would normally send someone else, but they were all occupied at the moment."

"No matter," the General said in a dismissive tone. "I heard what almost happened yesterday, I see that did nothing to prevent you from coming into work."

"Indeed, though it is a pity that two of your personal guards got caught up in the mess."

Firmin twitched and let out a growl. "I cannot control the actions of my men. It is unfortunate that they forsook their oath for a small amount of money."

"Oh? They were bribed?"

"That is none of your business, you're dismissed."

Roy saluted and headed toward the exit. He wanted to continue and try and get more information out of the man, but doing so would not be a good idea.

"By the way, Mustang," the General growled. "You can only go so far with the cocky air about you."

He smirked at that comment. The man was seething over his loss. That alone convinced him that the General knew _something_ as to why his guards were there. Tonight, he vowed to find out more.


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Scheme

**Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist.**

Lady Monozuki: Here's one of the longest chapters yet. I tried to cut this one off, but it kept going so it ended up being long. It gets in different points of view and I'm quite pleased with it actually. There were so many things I wanted to get in; I hope it doesn't seemed rushed. Anyway, enjoy and please review! (On a side note: I may have given General Firmin a first name previously, but I can't remember and couldn't find it in the previous chapters so don't yell at me if it's different.)

_Chapter Nineteen: Scheme_

"_Never give up on your goal."_

He remembered telling himself that even when everything that could possibly go wrong did. He kept on going when others would have quit. He had to. The one thing he refused to do was go back on his promise to his brother. He would get him out of that damn body and make everything right. At this point, he didn't even care if he returned to normal. If he took all the blame, he would feel better. He was the one who propped the idea of using forbidden alchemy. He convinced Al that what they were dong would be fine. To give up on everything because one thing happened to him went against everything he promised his brother.

He repeated those words like a mantra, telling himself that everything would be all right. Every time he reassured himself, the nightmares came flooding back. He didn't know how much longer he would hold. He felt like a liar, dirty, and useless. Each word echoed in his mind, bringing forth the memories of his attacker. He tried to refute the words in his mind, telling the faceless person that he was not any of those things.

"_No one cares for you," _the voice taunted.

_They found me and rescued me._

His counter sounded weak, but he refused to go down without a fight.

"_It took them two and a half weeks and they didn't find you until you were near death."_

_But they found me._

"_They didn't take action until the very end. They could have saved you, but they didn't."_

"Shut up!" he shouted. Tears stung his eyes, blurring his vision. However, he saw the confused look on his doctor's face.

"Mr. Elric?" the doctor asked. He didn't need to finish the question, Ed knew what he would ask anyway.

He took a few moments to calms himself. "I'm fine," he stubbornly replied. "I'm fine."

He had repeated the sentence for himself, rather than to reassure the doctor. He hated needing to be told more than once. He _hated_ everything in his life.

_You commit one sin and you pay for it for the rest of your damn life. _

He sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't want to deal with the real world anymore. Staying awake would give him more time for self-regret, something he didn't need. Ed wanted to escape from his living hell, but even in his sleep; his nightmare continued

--

Roy pretended to leave work, intentionally slacking off so that he would stay later. The hours had passed at an agonizingly slow rate. Everyone, except for the a few lower-ranking military personnel, had left for the day. The normal office hours had long since past, but he was still cautious. No one was to know about his being there, let alone what he was doing. After a few long minutes, he came out of his hiding spot. Being holed up in a cabinet in his office was not a fun way to kill time.

He walked toward the door to his office and pressed an ear against the wood. Not hearing any voices or footsteps approaching, he opened the door at a slow rate. Light greeted him, temporarily blinding him. Once his eyes adjusted to the light, he checked to make sure that the pathway was clear. The corridor remained empty and still. Roy slipped out of the dark room and closed the door quietly behind him. He walked slowly across the hall, listening hard, and waiting to hide himself if need be.

As he continued down the path, he noted places that he would be able to easily slip into and making sure that he had more than one route out of the place. Even though he felt sure that he would not run into any trouble until the file room, he still wanted to be safe. He let out a dry chuckle when he thought about how ridiculous this whole thing was. Here he was, a Colonel in the military and sneaking around a building that he called his second home.

Were he here under any other circumstances, he would walk through the halls as if he belonged. However, he could not afford that risk tonight. If General Firmin got wind of his sneaking around, he felt sure that the other would not hesitate to interfere with his plans. If he was right, the General had something to hide and would do anything to prevent him from finding out the truth.

_I need to do this for Ed, and myself. There is a reason behind our attacks and I want to bring closure to the both of us._

He stopped before turning the corner of the hallway. He had been so absorbed in his thoughts that he was one turn away from the file room. Quickly, he peered around the corner and confirmed the usual two guards. Slipping on his gloves, he looked for a place to start a small fire. He needed the guards to be distracted long enough for him to slip into the room unnoticed, but not long enough for there to be a problem. An outer coat near a heater caught his attention. With a quick snap, the coat started to burn from the bottom up.

A few seconds later, the guards went into disarray as the other piled on there also caught fire. He moved from his hiding spot and moved to the file room. After punching in the four-digit code, he slipped in. A sigh of relief escaped his lips. Instead of turning on the lights, he used his flame to find where they stored the lanterns in case of an emergency. He lit one before delving into the masses of files.

--

Even though she felt exhausted, Riza could not bring herself to rest. She had taken responsibility for both Al and Winry while they stayed during Ed's recovery. They had wanted to stay close to the hospital in case something happened, otherwise she would have sent them to stay with Gracia. However, she wa regretting her decision to take in a few house guests. Even with all of her military experience, she could not pacify either of them. Both of them were worried, she understood that much. However, they took the whole situation harder than she expected. She found herself in the middle of a cold exchange with Alphonse.

Like everyone else, she had thought of him as meek and nice. If other people knew this side of them, they would be as lost as she was. She had tried to assure the younger brother that Ed would be all right, but he seemed to take those words as an insult. She did not know what else to tell him. He refused to explain why so she was left in a hopeless position. After being shouted out for the hundredth time in the span of twenty minutes, she went to make herself some tea.

Riza tried to think of what would cause the younger brother to react that way but came up with nothing. She would understand the whole situation better if it was Al in the hospital and Edward in her apartment. After all, the older brother was protective of the younger, despite any dangers. The water boiled and she inserted a tea bag. After a few moments of trying to collect her thoughts, she went out to meet the metal armor once again.

Sometimes, she disliked the fact that Al was a suit of armor for the sole reason that she could not read any expressions. The metal just sat there, not bothering to try and talk to her any more. She was content with that for the time being, she did not want to attempt any further conversations until they had both calmed down a little.

_I've always prided myself on being rational. This is the second time that I've let my emotions get the best of me. _

She took a sip of her tea and relished in its soothing flavor. Whenever she got too stressed, she preferred to drink tea to calm her nerves.

"You don't know my brother," Al said in a shaky voice.

She put down her tea and looked at the suit of armor. Instead of saying something, she waited for him to continue. It would be best not to interrupt so they could avoid a repeat of their previous conversations.

"Brother is one to keep everything inside and not rely on others. He doesn't want to be a burden to others. He doesn't realize that the person he's hurting the most is himself. Because he won't express his suffering all of the time, I had to learn how to read him. That's why I know he is hurting more than he lets on. His behavior is not normal from the "usual" Edward. He may act the same, but he is putting up a front."

She nodded in understanding. "He's doing this for you," she said.

"I know, he thinks that he needs to shoulder all of the responsibility because of what happened to us years ago. I've tried to tell him that I willingly went along, he doesn't believe that. Brother takes those situations personal and tries to shoulder them. He was already fragile before this happened. This incident broke him. He's struggling to stand but keeps falling because there's no support. You know believe it or not, brother relies on all of you. Whether he realizes it or not, he confides in you because he trusts you. Whatever happened to him while he was missing broke that trust in all of us. I don't know what would cause that to happen, but we're going to have to work hard to bring him out of his shell and show him that we can support him."

The corners of her mouth lifted slightly. There were times where the younger of the brother was so much wiser than his age. Riza grabbed her teacup and took another sip.

--

Roy let out a growl of frustration. After hours of searching, he had sifted through several cases dealing with rape, torture, and imprisonment to no avail. So far, he had found nothing similar in cases prior to his own so he decided to read the report on his. His stomach churned at the thought. It was bad enough the incident had occurred, it was worse reading an account of what had happened. Every word brought back the memories of what happened. He flinched and read faster.

As he did so, he noted one name that he had not noticed before. Private Roderick Firmin had been assigned to assist the police in their investigation of the matter. He frowned at the thought. That information explained why the General had certain connections with the police. He needed to know more about what the General had discovered back in that time. He flipped through the file that began the reports written by various members of the military personnel involved. From what he could gather, they were required to write what they discovered every day.

Many of the accounts did not divulge more than basic information. However, the spacing and wording seemed off to him. Usually when writing a report, they were required to include specifics. The vagueness of certain areas raised his suspicion that something had happened during those times. A small piece of paper fell out of the folder, he bend down to retrieve it. He was about to replace the piece of paper before he hesitated.

Without thinking, he opened it to reveal messy, but legible handwriting. A shiver ran down his back.

He will never forget, he is broken.

Several questions popped into his head all at once. He looked through the reports to see when they had found the note, but found no indication of it. A frown formed on his face. If the General never reported the note, then what was it doing in his file? What did the person mean when they said he was broken? And why was it important for him to never forget. Shoving that aside, he read through the rest of the investigation, finding that they had made little progress. It seemed as though they had written the case off as a lost cause before even starting.

Roy dug out Ed's file and looked for anything out of the ordinary. The pace was quick and he almost missed an odd sentence in a report.

There is one left that needs to be taught again.

_What the hell is going on?_

--

Riza knocked on the door to the guest room. Silence greeted the gesture, which she didn't mind. Instead of trying again, she walked in. The young blonde mechanic was busy at work, making a new mechanical leg for Ed. Winry had almost completed both the arm and leg in record time, but she knew that was because it helped her keep her mind off of Edward. When she had first seen her childhood friend, Winry had holed herself in the room and surrounded herself with tons of metal.

As far as she could guess, this was the teenager's way of dealing with stress. She doubted that Winry had gotten more than four hours of sleep since she arrived in Central, something that concerned her. Riza walked over to the working mechanic and placed a cup of tea and crackers on the desk. If she was going to stay up for most of the night, she might as well eat and drink something to keep her energy going.

"Winry," she said in a weary voice. "Do you want to talk about this?"

She knew that the teenager needed _someone_ to talk to. However, she would understand if Winry refused to speak to her. After all, she was like a total stranger thrown into the mix. They didn't know each other past acquaintances. The mechanic paused for a brief moment, but said nothing. After seeing the other resume her work, she decided to get out of the way. Riza had almost reached the door when she heard Winry speak.

"Wait, stay for a while."

The voice broke near the end, making her stop and turn around. The teenager had turned to face her. She could see the tears on Winry's face, making her feel sorry for the mechanic. Riza walked over to the bed and sat down, waiting for the other to speak. She did not want to push too hard, she knew that they all needed to deal with this in their own way. But talking to people always helped. The silence ensued for several minutes, but she did not complain.

"I don't understand what he's thinking sometimes," the girl whispered. "He always tries to keep things to himself that h could easily share with others. He was never one to burden others with his problems. Even when we were little, he knew that his mom was not doing well and he kept that from Al because he didn't want him to feel guilty. Granny and I knew that Al's birth weakened their mom, but we didn't say anything. After _he _left, everything just got worse. Ed doesn't realize that there's a barrier between him and everyone, one that he created. Even Al and I don't know what he's thinking all of the time."

Winry let out a bitter laugh. "You would think that after growing up together that we would know. Ed wants to be strong for everyone but right now, I don't see him being able to forgive himself for what happened. He always knew the journey wouldn't be easy, but he doesn't see that this is more than he can handle. He won't be able to move on until he relies on someone other than himself."

"I don't think he understands how lucky he is to have both you and Al by his side."

"That's why he's unable to move on."

_They don't realize it, but they understand Ed better than he understands himself sometimes. They think that they don't know a lot because he keeps it all inside, but they see more than anyone else because they've been with him the longest. Actions always speak louder than words._

--

Roy looked at the other files with wide eyes. He had never expected to stumble across something so big. In the past seventeen years, there had been thirty different cases of similar attacks to his and Ed's. What scared him the most is that the military knew about all of them and was unable to find the attacker in all of the incidents. He would understand if a few got away with the crime, but for thirty of them to be left without any sort of explanation did little to calm him. He noted in each one that random phrases popped up in the middle of reports. He frowned.

Obviously the phrases meant something, otherwise they would not be there. The thing was that he couldn't figure out _what_. That perplexed him more than anything. He hated playing guessing games. He also wondered how the phrases had gone unnoticed for so long. Wouldn't the higher ranks have seen this and questioned the author of the reports before filing them away? Also, it seemed that all military personnel had given up with the investigations, along with the police.

That did not sit right. Why would the people sworn to make this country a better place turn a blind eye to these cases? The question did not bear an answer. He looked through the reports one more time, hoping to find anything that would point him to an answer. He found nothing. With a sigh, he closed the reports. He rubbed his forehead when he caught sight of one name written on the outside of the papers.

Roderick Firmin.

The name covered all of the reports that he read. He _knew_ that General Firmin was involved. With him in charge of cases, nothing ever got solved. He had to question why. The officer had connections with the police and could almost get any sort of information he wanted. So why did every case he was assigned to oversee go ignored?

_They didn't want the truth to get out._

The thought made him shiver. If that was true, then what did they want to keep covered? What else was the military hiding from them? He stood and went over to another file cabinet. He sorted through several names before coming across the one he was looking for. He wanted to know who Firmin had reported to when he was a private in the military. Roy needed to find out if anyone else was involved. He came across a neatly typed sheet and froze. The record showed a name he was all too familiar with as the then-private's commanding officer.

_His_ father_._

He dropped the folder as memories came swarming back. His father's voice echoed in his head.

"_It's time that you learned to grow up."_

"_Your will is strong, but you don't know the first thing about the real world. One day, you'll learn."_

"_You'll never be able to survive on your own if you can't make it past this."_

"_Your attacker will never be caught."_

The last phrase continued to repeat itself. His father knew that his attacker would remain free. How? Why? What did he mean when he said all of those things. Did his father somehow know about the attack before it happened? He gasped.

_No way, there's no fucking way he knew._

The words did not sound convincing. He tried to sort out the many thoughts going through his mind, but he could not. There were so many questions that went through his mind that it made his head ache worse than usual. If his father _and_ General Firmin knew who the attackers were in each case, then why did they let them go?

_He will never forget, he is broken._

His eyes widened and he went to dig through the military personnel files to find some more missing pieces in the puzzle.

--

A scowl formed on his lips. He had already known that news of what happened earlier would spread to _them_. He was not in any mood to deal with their scolding. He had enough to worry about at the time. The first thing he wanted to do was put the snoopy Roy Mustang on the wrong trail. He needed to act fast though and dealing with _them_ would not help with the present situation. He entered a dark room, waiting to hear their booming voices.

"You let them get captured," he heard.

The cold tone almost caused him to wince. He should have expected the harshness.

"We authorize you to use any means necessary to make sure that no one finds out."

He smirked, music to his ears. Without another word, he walked out of the room. He knew who he would target first.

--

Roy had first thought that all of the attacks had seemed random, with no particular order. Every person who was injured came from all walks of life and from different departments as well. The one thing that was similar were their records. Many of them had achieved ranks and medals at young ages; they seemed destined for a leadership position. That was before one event destroyed their lives.

_They were broken, like me. Their lives were shattered to the point where they could not pick themselves up again. Why them out of all the people in the world? They held the most promise, but that all fell apart in one incident. _

"_The military does not hesitate to take out those who they consider a threat, this includes people inside their rankings as well. If you ever join, you had better watch out or else they will break you."_

His father had told him that when he first talked about joining the military. He hadn't taken the man seriously. After all, he was a small child. A frown formed on his face. Why did he remember all of this now? He rubbed his forehead to try and lessen the tension the continued to build in his head. The clock ticked by.

He froze as a thought came to mind.

"They attacked the people they considered a threat to their positions in the military."

He felt metal press against his head.

"I knew that I should have stopped you earlier," a voice growled.

He swore.


	20. Chapter Twenty: End

**Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist.**

Lady Monozuki: Here marks the end of one story. I must say, this turned out to be quite different from my original idea. However, I can't complain. Thanks to everyone for adding this story to your favorites, reviewing, and reading this story.

_Chapter Twenty: End_

Power is the one thing in this world that is not corrupt. The authority a single position hold never changes or is different from day to day. What does change, are the people who decide to use the power. There are good people and there are bad people. Most of the time, they are referred to as the weak and the strong. The weak are considered to be those who hold the power but do nothing with it except during given circumstances. They never abuse their higher standing, even though those under them are ready to obey their every whim. To have people like that though, is a distressing thought to those placed under the "weak" category.

The strong are considered to be those who hold a tight reign over all those below them. They monitor movements and conversation, always looking for threats and taking out anyone who poses one. Their harshness brings fear to those around them. There is never a question of authority and they have no qualms over using those under them to their advantage.

While there are distinct differences in the way the power is used, it never changes. The other thing about power is that those who get a taste of the unlimited possibilities, rarely ever want to go back to being normal. They will stop at nothing to achieve their goals and hold all the power for themselves. But that's the one thing about humans that will never change. They will never rest until that power is theirs and will not hesitate to eliminate those who threaten to take it from them.

Yes, power itself never changes, but it changes people; both for good and for bad. The good because their minds and live are broken for being a threat to the bad. The bad because they can never go back to living life as normal, and will stop at nothing to destroy the lives of those who threaten them. The difference between the two of them is that the good ones are able to pick themselves up again; and filled with more determination to prevent the same fate from befalling those around them. The bad stay miserable forever, always thinking about what they could never achieve.

-◊-

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. For the hundredth time that day, he massaged his aching shoulder. A knock came at the door.

"Come in," he said in a tired voice. Riza walked in with a cup of coffee and a stack of papers. She didn't say anything to him as she handed him the items.

"Thank you," he said. "When is he going to come in?"

"He should be here soon, sir."

"Send him in when he does, though I suspect that he would anyway."

"Yes, sir."

She left the room, closing the door behind. He took a sip of the coffee before turning his attention to the papers. He noted, with some displeasure, that they were in regards to the incident a couple of weeks ago. He frowned at the memory.

-◊-

_His mind tried to think of any possibilities that would allow him to escape. So far though, he had nothing. While there was only one weapon fixed to his head, he could sense the several others in the room. He wondered why they had waited so long to act. Even now, they were hesitating. He did not understand why._

"_You should have learned your lesson the first time around. I would have thought that your father would have taught you better. I suppose that it doesn't matter now."_

_At that moment, he remembered that he never took off his gloves. He thought for sure that he had when first arriving in the room, but apparently not. A smirk formed on his face._

_At least I can do something with this._

"_General," he said. "I hope you realize that I'm not the same man as I once was." There was silence to follow his words. "One more things, my father taught me one thing; always have a back-up plan."_

"_Heh, I don't think you could escape even if—"_

_Roy ducked before snapping his fingers. Simultaneously, the guns in the room exploded (1). Loud clanks echoed in the room. He wasted no time in running toward the exit, pushing people out of the way. His shoulder protested at being used in such a fashion. After all, he had not let it fully recover. His hands grasped the handle and he started to pull it open when a punch landed on his face._

_Another blow to his face made him let go and turn to see Firmin staring at him. He dodged another attack, but just barely. He stumbled over an object and fell to the ground. He was about to snap his fingers when someone ripped off his gloves. Not too long later, several blows to his gut and ribs were made. He did his best to protect the areas as best as he could, but he could only do so much._

_The door swung open, revealing a grave-faced Furher. The action in the room ceased immediately._

"_What's going on here?" Furher Bradley asked. Silence greeted those words. The Furher's gaze fell upon him. He tried to sit up, but couldn't. Without waiting for an answer, Bradley ordered for the people behind him to take those in the room into custody and take Roy to the hospital._

_After he regained consciousness, he had told the Furher of the story and his theory behind the conspiracy. The next day, he received word that General Firmin had confessed to planning several attacks on members of the military and even assaulting a number of them._

-◊-

There was a brief knock on the door, though he almost didn't notice it. A few seconds later, the door burst open, revealing a rather pissed looking Ed. Their eyes met and the silence between the two of them stretched.

"Edward," he said in a gentle tone. "How are you feeling?"

The teen shrugged before answering. "As good as can be expected."

He could understand why the teen was angry with him. After all, he had told Ed that they caught his attacker only to later find that Firmin had….

"What did you call me here for anyway?" Ed asked.

"I heard that you're going to continue looking for the Stone."

"Of course, what else would I do? I promised Al that I would get his body back," Ed said.

Roy nodded. He knew that, but that wasn't what he was concerned about.

"What about you?"

There was silence. He looked into Ed's eyes. He couldn't quite read the expression in there, but he got the feeling that Ed still needed some time to heal.

"Heh, since when have you cared, Colonel Bastard?"

-◊-

It is easier to forgive an incident that is not your fault, than to forgive a sin caused by you. If there are two severely damaging incidents, the one where you feel the most responsible will outweigh the other. You may carry the scars from both, but the drive to set things right in your life will keep push you forward. Even if your mind and life is broken, you still want to make things right. However, fixing a sin a sin is harder than forgiving one. It requires a lot of sacrifice.

_End_


End file.
